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Complex Numbers #568473 added February 18, 2008 at 4:46pm
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Presidents' Day
Officially, today is George Washington's Birthday observance. Calling it Presidents' Day (or Presidents Day or President's Day) is a commercialization, promoted mostly by retailers so people will shop there on their day off.
I talk about Jefferson more, here, because I live in a town indelibly stamped with his seal. But I spent my childhood much closer to the home of George Washington.
I never much liked George Washington. I remember from an early age thinking he was a pompous ass. I mean, come on: the cherry tree incident? Chucking a dollar across the Rappahannock?
I derive great pleasure from imagining Jefferson upending a stein of ale onto George's powdered wig.
And look, the guy was a traitor, you know. Had the Revolutionary War gone the other way, that other George would have had him pilloried, drawn and quartered. Oh, I guess he got "quartered" anyway.
Where Jefferson was witty and brief, Washington was sober and verbose. Where Jefferson was a populist, Washington was a federalist. Where Jefferson was a diplomatist, Washington was a militarist. And don't forget: from all reports, Washington was a lousy general, winning more out of luck than skill. I mean, first he FOUGHT the French (and lost), then he fought WITH the French against the British - and still kept losing. Out of nine battles he fought, he won three. THREE.
Of course, one of them allowed us to drop that British accent and spell color without a 'u.'
But I can't deny he was a great President - partly because he defined the office for everyone else, but partly because pompous assery works pretty good in high office.
Did you know my town celebrates Jefferson's birthday? Yep, they get the day off every April, in addition to Washington's Birthday.
Well, Washington's Birthday, as observed, rarely coincides with mine, but when it does, I really, really hate being overshadowed by a pompous ass whose main visible legacy is a slave plantation, a stone face out in the middle of nowhere, and a 555'5-1/8" phallus.
Wait, it says here he grew hemp on one of his plantations. Nevermind - ol' George was cool.
Anyway, I don't get a 555'5-1/8" phallus, but I got the next best thing, this year - a birthday forum!
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