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Complex Numbers #584589 added May 11, 2008 at 8:44pm
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Big Bang
I thought about writing something about Mothers' Day here, but what's the point? My mom died nine years ago this summer, and why the hell is there a special day reserved for people who managed to reproduce? Hell, hamsters can do that. How about reserving a day for those who care enough about the planet and its other life forms that we did not breed like rabbits? Huh? And that goes double for Father's Day. So your sperm worked. Big fucking deal.
Here's a REAL celebration: they found all these old fireworks and didn't know how to dispose of them, so they called in the state police.
Putting their heads together, the agencies decided the best thing to do was blow the fireworks up. The best way to do that, they concluded, was to use C-4 plastic explosives. Around 30 pounds...
30 pounds.
Of C-4.
Boom.
http://www.adn.com/matsu/story/402568.html
Hall suspected the explosives experts might have taken a little pleasure in the whole thing, which is something he didn't hold against them. (Damn right!)
(Bonus: adult Alaska woman talks like vapid teen: "They were telling us, 'You need to evacuate,' and we were like, 'Where do you want us to go?' and they were like, 'Go home,' and we were like, 'We live here,' " Sinnett said.)
Oh, about the first paragraph? I'm just kidding. Mothers - and fathers - should definitely be acknowledged, not for breeding, but for bringing you up right.
I still want a "National Childfree Day."
And 30 pounds of C-4 |
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