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#1029115 added May 22, 2022 at 6:16am
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A Man with a sign.
I saw a man sitting outside the local drugstore wearing raggedy, soiled clothes. His hair was messy and he looked tired. He held a sign. It said, "Need Money."
We glanced at each other. I smiled slightly while looking at some plants for sale outside the store. He sat silently.
I kept thinking he might be hungry and tired. Maybe he slept on the cold ground every night. Maybe he had no place to even wash his face, much less anything else.
I didn't want to encourage him by enabling him, like some relatives told me, yet I was compelled to do something, anything, even if rather insignificant.
I walked toward my car, but stopped along the way, dug through my bag for a few dollars, then returned to him and handed it to him, and said, "I know it's not much. I'm sorry."
He said, "Trust me it's a lot and means a lot. Thank you."
Then I walked to my car. Still, I felt like I hadn't done enough. I grabbed some things I had bought earlier. I drove closer to where he was at, and waved at him to come over, then I tried to hand him a small bag of chips, small carton of milk, and an orange.
He looked at them and said, "Oh, I can't have those. I'm on a special diet. The orange has a lot of fiber."
He didn't take any of it. I knew then that more than likely, my siblings were right, he'd probably spend the money on booze or cigarettes.
Maybe I was totally wrong. What if he just wanted a bar of soap or a bottle of water, or something else?
I had seen at least one homeless person bathing in water from a fire hydrant.
I couldn't be sure about this man now though, but it didn't make me want to do that again. I wonder if that makes me horrible person to think bad about him.
I did feel a bit angry thinking he's hurting himself if that's what he's doing, but it is his choice to make, not mine. It just seems so wasteful and can only lead to worse problems.
By the time I was halfway home, I finally just let it go. There wasn't anything I could do by then.
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