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Complex Numbers #1031744 added May 1, 2022 at 12:01am
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The Birds
There is no way to disprove a conspiracy theory.
What I mean by that is, of course you can disprove a conspiracy theory. What you can't do is present any evidence that would make someone who's invested in it change their mind.
Either they'll dismiss it as fake, or declare that you're obviously part of the conspiracy.
This seems to be a defining feature of humanity; we can believe any bullshit if we really want to, and once we do, it becomes part of our identity, and to break with it can cause tremendous mental anguish.
I say "we" because while I try to be open to new evidence, I'm still nominally human, and I can't say I'm totally immune. Part of the problem is when we get deep into these things, we don't even recognize our own cognitive issues. Like, I'm convinced, with absolutely no evidence, that PETA is secretly run by soybean growers and fake fur manufacturers, both of which have a massive financial stake in getting people to eat no meat and wear no fur. I'm not sure what could cause me to believe otherwise. But really, does that particular conspiracy theory do any harm?
(The above link is from The Guardian, so some of these quotes will have British-spelled words.)
Anyway. One small act of satire:
McIndoe made a placard, and went out to join the march. “It’s not like I sat down and thought I’m going to make a satire. I just thought: ‘I should write a sign that has nothing to do with what is going on.’ An absurdist statement to bring to the equation.”
I don't know if I've mentioned in here before the power that I think absurdity has. Sometimes you have to venture into the surreal to truly comprehend reality.
That statement was “birds aren’t real”. As he stood with the counterprotesters, and they asked what his sign meant, he improvised. He said he was part of a movement that had been around for 50 years, and was originally started to save American birds, but had failed. The “deep state” had destroyed them all, and replaced them with surveillance drones. Every bird you see is actually a tiny feathered robot watching you.
Obviously false. Hell, I ate some chicken just a few hours ago (suck it, PETA), and a chicken is a bird.
Or... wait... WAS it chicken? How do I really know?
Anyway, the "theory" is obviously false. After all, birds are tough to fake. Insects and spiders, now... those are actually government drones spying on you.
It’s a made-up conspiracy theory that is just realistic enough, as conspiracies go, to convince QAnon supporters that birds aren’t real, but has just enough satirical flags that generation Z recognises immediately what is going on.
Right, because every generation is a solid cohort that moves in lockstep. No Gen-Z doesn't recognize it as satire. No Millenial, Xer, or Boomer recognizes it as satire. We are all one. Conform.
It’s a vivid dramatisation of how divisive conspiracy theories are; people who believe them live in another world, where any wild theory flies and even the most fleeting attempt to fact check it or test it against logic (if birds have been destroyed, who’s eating all the worms?) marks you out as a brainwashed liberal.
The Guardian leans left, and we all know it. I dislike playing the "both sides are bad" card, but here again, as with the generations thing, let's not forget that many liberals subscribe to conspiracy theories, too. Like my pet PETA one.
The paedophile element of QAnon, where Hillary Clinton and a huge global web of powerful liberals, are abusing children and keeping them in tunnels, sounds completely unhinged.
Not if you understand that for those people, every accusation is actually a confession.
They’re unified on the prank, right? There aren’t people there who think birds genuinely aren’t real? (I still need a lot of footnotes.) “Yeah, they’re role-playing together. They’re role-playing the collective understanding of the conspiracy theory.”
Yeah, I wouldn't be so certain of that. I'm sure there are people cosplaying as flat-Earthers, but I'm pretty sure a lot of the flat-Earthers believe every word they spout.
Anyway, the article is a nice glimpse into a conspiracy theory that we know is satire, kind of like we know that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a satire of religious nutjobs. |
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