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Complex Numbers #1045875 added March 3, 2023 at 11:46am
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Tough
I'mma do some prompts from "JAFBG"  [XGC] in addition to my usual fare. Selected at random, as usual, here's the first one:
When is tough love appropriate (if ever)?
Oh, joy, something that has nothing to do with me.
Back before I developed my allergy to physical labor, I worked for a residential construction company in Northern Virginia, one specializing in renovations and additions. We were redoing some rich family's kitchen and were told "If the owners' son Dave [not his actual name, not because I'm trying to protect anyone after nearly 40 years, but because I forgot it] shows up, don't let him in, don't engage, call the cops. He's an addict and they're practicing tough love."
Wouldn't you know it, about a week into the project, Dave shows up at the door. Fortunately, I was only like 20 at the time, and my supervisor handled things.
It was my first exposure to the concept of "tough love," and it was also my only exposure to it. Not to be confused with "rough love," which I might or might not know something about, but I'm keeping this blog 18+.
So I don't really have an opinion on it, other than this:
If your kid is an addict, or otherwise self-destructive, okay, fine. I don't know enough about it to know if it's actually effective or not, and I can't be arsed to research it right now. Maybe reducing their dependence on you can reduce their dependence on other things, or nudge them into being responsible. Maybe not; maybe it just steers them toward other enablers. I'll never be in a situation to worry about it, so my interest in the topic is slight, about on the level of sportsball or the finer points of winning a tractor pull.
The problem is, the concept got jumped on by the authoritarian segment of the population, and they subvert it into abuse. My son is gay? Send him to a re-education camp, and don't let him back into the family without a girlfriend. My daughter is practicing Wicca? Not in my house! She can only return if she agrees to be rebaptized and go to church every week.
Someone who doesn't see the difference is part of the problem, not the solution. |
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