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#1058293 added October 30, 2023 at 9:32am
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Martian Law
So you don't want to live on this planet anymore?

    Everything About Mars Is The Worst  Open in new Window.
But this jerk planet is still humanity’s best hope for another home in the cosmos.


The idea of life on Mars (whether alien or transplanted from Earth) is obviously one of the oldest themes in science fiction and fantasy. It's so pervasive that some people take for granted that 1) we will colonize Mars and 2) at some point after we do, the colonists will rebel and declare independence, most likely resulting in a war.

If 1 then 2, because Mars is, after all, a god of war, and because all colonies eventually revolt; but 1 is still questionable.

At first glance, Mars seems pretty nice.

Compared to the other planets we know of that aren't Earth, sure.

No other world in the solar system offers us this chance. Mercury is way too close to the sun. Nearby Venus has far too much atmosphere, whose pressure and noxious gases would crush and choke visitors from Earth.

I vaguely recall a thing I linked here a while back that ran the numbers and concluded that the closest planets to Earth, on average, are 1) Mercury 2) Venus 3) Mars. I think it depends on how you calculate it. If this doesn't make sense, consider all the time that these planets spend on the other side of the solar system from us.

And yet, thanks to quirks of orbital dynamics, it's easier to get to Mars. Which doesn't mean it's easy.

At night, temperatures drop to -100 degrees Fahrenheit. Dust devils and shifting sands cover up solar panels and will test even the most tightly sealed spacesuits and habitats. During dust storm season, Martian winds can stir up haboobs that cover the entire globe in clouds of sun-blotting microscopic particles.

That's with an atmosphere that's less than 1% the density of our own troposphere. Also, "haboobs" still makes me chuckle because I'm actually 12 years old.

Humans have been slinging spacecraft Marsward for 57 years, and we’re still not even batting .500.

It has been pointed out that Mars is the only world believed to be populated entirely by robots.

So far, the U.S. is the only country to land anything on Mars, and we’ve stuck the landing on eight of nine attempts.

If I recall correctly (and I might not), the reason the one mission failed is that someone forgot to convert metric to imperial units or vice-versa, which is actually kinda hilarious.

Anyway, the article continues with details of some of the technical challenges, which I won't go into. Numerous SF authors have, naturally, imagined possible ways around each of them, up to and including terraforming. I've done a bit of fictional speculation along those lines.

But I've read enough science fiction to know that it's not going to end well, in any case.

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