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#1061512 added December 28, 2023 at 10:38am
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The Grammar Hammer
Another reason to use good grammar and spelling: you'd be contributing to public health.



Unless, of course, you're an evil villain whose sole purpose is to create as much chaos, illness, and discord as you can without getting caught.

Summary: A novel study uncovers our physiological response to misused grammar. Researchers identified a direct link between grammatical errors and a change in Heart Rate Variability (HRV).

This appears to be legitimate science, by the way. I don't know if it's been replicated or even peer-reviewed. It gives the answer I want, though, so I'm highlighting it.

When confronted with bad grammar, subjects’ HRVs indicated increased stress levels.

Hm. Someone should do a similar study for puns.

A new study by professors at the University of Birmingham has revealed for the first time how our bodies go into stress-mode when hearing misused grammar.

So, see? It's not just me or your English teacher.

HRV captures the time between successive heart beats. The length of the intervals between a person’s successive heart beats tends to be variable when they are relaxed but becomes more regular when they are stressed.

Now, that seems counterintuitive, but that's why we do science.

I don't really need to comment further; the article is there at the link. If I weren't lazy, I'd turn this into a villain's superpower and write stories about it. But I am lazy.

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