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Complex Numbers #1083742 added February 12, 2025 at 10:01am
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Day of the Dollar
Many of the articles I feature here are fairly old. This one, from Slate, isn't.
Today’s the Day 
Minor consumer holidays don’t just appear out of nowhere. There’s a method to the madness—and it’s juicier than you’d think.
I find these made-up "days" amusing. I like to use them when I do prompts for "Invalid Item" , though I normally use a different calendar. Just to be clear, I don't take them seriously, and recognize that they're mostly marketing gimmicks. As pretty much everything these days is a marketing gimmick, I see no inherent problem with this.
Where, exactly, did National Bagel Day come from?
I'm guessing: manufacturers and/or distributors of delicious bagels.
Who decided that it must be held annually on Jan. 15?
Same guess.
And how on earth am I supposed to celebrate?
By eating a bagel. Are you being deliberately dense, like a proper bagel?
My work schedule provides me with 13 days off in observance of everything from Presidents Day to Christmas, but if we are to trust the internet, then I’m clearly getting ripped off.
Wait, some writers get days off?
Other empty spaces on the calendar are filled with even more esoteric celebrations: Jan. 16, if you didn’t know, is National Nothing Day. May 9 is the eternally solemn National Lost Sock Memorial Day. And I hope you’re already practicing your iambic pentameter, because April 23 is National Talk Like Shakespeare Day.
As we shouldst all beest acknown, shakespeare's birthday wast april 23.
(I got that from the even more amusing English to Shakespearean translator. )
(The date is a guess based on baptismal records and because it rounds the Bard's life with an awful symmetry, as he also died on an April 23. Though both of those would have been Julian calendar dates, and... whatever, I'm getting off track here.)
The National Day Calendar website functions like one of those old-fashioned daily tear-off calendars—the ones brimming with Far Side panels or horoscope readings—bringing flavor to otherwise colorless Tuesdays and Thursdays. How does one find purpose in a marginal existence? Perhaps, argues the company, by respecting the tenets of National Hot Buttered Rum Day, National Thesaurus Day, and National Hugging Day.
I went looking for another name for National Thesaurus Day recently, but couldn't find one.
There is a method to the madness, and a distinct curator of a January 15 filled with bagels, kombucha, and strawberry ice cream. His name is Marlo Anderson. He’s 62, and he describes himself as a “serial entrepreneur.”
Which I imagine is kind of like being a serial monogamist, only less expensive.
Incredibly, people do actually celebrate these things sometimes. Many of the holidays are essentially leveraged for short-term marketing ploys: For National Bagel Day, Einstein Bros. handed out a free egg sandwich to anyone already subscribed to the chain’s rewards program, while Wolferman’s Bakery offered a 15 percent discount code.
As much as I hate ads in general, I can't fault this. Hell, you should see me on National Beer Day. Scratch that; you definitely should not. There are actually several Beer Days, and also days for other delicious fermented and/or distilled adult beverages. Those days are also known as "excuses, as if I need them."
The article also goes on to describe one of Anderson's competitors, someone named... Alderson. After that point, I stopped paying a lot of attention, because the names are too similar and I get confused easily in the morning.
Alongside the National Day Calendar’s TV show and vast online emporium, Anderson also collects revenue by occasionally partnering with a client to invent a brand-new holiday, out of whole cloth, without any of the historical precedent he usually relies on when creating his schedule. These deals are disclosed transparently on the National Day Calendar website, and they function like a glorified advertisement. Case in point: I am writing this story on National Hyaluronic Acid Day, a holiday that was created in 2022 and is sponsored by the skin care brand La Roche-Posay. Rolls off the tongue, right? National Hyaluronic Acid Day. If you aren’t connecting the dots, hyaluronic acid is a substance found in a lot of moisturizing products.
Again, though I despise ads, I can't really find fault with this. As the article says, they're transparent about it, unlike, say, certain click-bait sites or news outlets that write "stories" that are actually ads without telling us.
More at the link, so you can judge for yourself. Me, I like the Japanese version of these silly days: their language is, from what I've heard, even more amenable to puns than English is, and their "holidays" reflect this. I'm sure I've mentioned these before. Here's a link to some details, which I have to take their word(s) for because my knowledge of Japanese is severely limited. |
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