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Why I Write
When I write, I draw on my experiences as a woman with a painful past, a rapturous wife and mother, a world traveler, and a spiritualist. For me, writing is an art form. Like an artist, the work becomes more than I imagined it would be. When I set out to write a story with a particular idea or character in mind, words I cannot claim as my own flow from a magical and mysterious place through me and onto paper. The work takes on a life of its own; it is living art. The process fascinates me, satiates me, and makes my life more meaningful.
Please read my stories! If you would like to offer me feedback on my work, please click here and sign up for a free membership: https://heftynicki.Writing.com
I hope to see you there!
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Archive of TWIST Newsletters #728060 added July 6, 2011 at 11:20am
Restrictions: None
TWIST Newsletter ~ 7/10/2011
[TWIST! Thoughts of the Day]
Hello TWIST-ers!
Last month I discussed the Review Tool Template and how it’s used to make your regular review practice faster and easier. The next several TWIST newsletters will be dedicated to other facets of WDC reviewing, because the more you read and review fellow members’ work, the greater leaps you will take along your personal writer’s path.
Today, we’re discussing the merits of one successful review by taking a close look at the winning review in last month’s "TWIST Review Challenge"  . It was submitted by TWIST member allegroconbrio, who won a Reviewing Merit Badge and 25,000 GPs. Let’s examine what made this review the winner.
 (Allegro’s review will be in black, and my comments will be in pink  )
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~ Hello! I read "Beneath the Stars" today and wanted you to know how much I enjoyed it. ~
The following comments are just one person’s opinion. Please feel free to use what is helpful and disregard the rest.
[Allegro used the Review Tool Template I provided in the June Newsletter. Of course, any template could have been used to qualify this review for the challenge, per the rules. What’s important and what I appreciate in a review is a friendly opening that greets the author being reviewed, like this one does. And I believe including a disclaimer right at the outset -- stating that the comments to follow are the reviewer’s opinions and viewpoints offered in the spirit of writers helping writers improve their crafts -- does two things: It reminds the author that the reviewer respects the work s/he’s shared, and it readies the author for any negative feedback the reviewer will present. Both go a long way in a balanced review.]
Strengths:
I've been at that point many times myself - in fact, just earlier this year, I was lying on top of the roof of a friend's house doing the very same thing that you are describing in your poem, admiring the stars. I think many others will be able to fully relate to your experiences. It's difficult not to have a sense of awe or wonder when looking up into the night sky - the stars and other celestial bodies really help us in terms of both recognizing our own places in this world and of more practical uses, such as ship navigation in old times or helping in the study of mathematics for ancient civilizations. [Right off the bat, Allegro establishes her “reviewer’s voice.” She is conversational and friendly as she tells the author that she related to the poem on a personal level. Each reviewer develops a style of review, and this particular style is just one of many. But it is effective because it is an intimate discussion of the work, almost as if Allegro is sitting across the table from this poet in a coffee house, chatting about her poetry.] Your theme was well-chosen, and even though this poem did not conform to any strict rhyme scheme or metering, I personally felt that it was appropriate for the nature of the poem. Since your task here is to convey to the reader the same sense of the universe's greatness that you felt, it's a wise choice to leave the structure of the poem open, free, grand - almost like the sight itself. [I thought this feedback was brilliant. Recognizing the poem’s form and evaluating how it compared to the poem’s theme shows the author that Allegro “gets” what she was saying, while demonstrating the level of insight Allegro has as a reviewer.]
I would actually suggest this to be turned into a free verse poem (even though you've already removed several of the more conventional restrictions), simply because of the theme you are dealing with. The other advantage to using free verse is that you have literally no limitations over your choice of vocabulary or the syntax of your sentences, so you can do whatever you wish. [This casual suggestion is unimposing and doesn’t “tell” the poet to do something different. It’s simply presented as an idea that may send the poet down a new path of creative contemplation.]
Suggestions:
I already offered one with regards to the structure of the poem, but I think that in general, for a poem of this type, it would be best to focus on what you see up in the sky as well as on the ground. I believe one of the characteristics that makes the stars so fascinating is that they've been around for so long - that same night sky that people look at today is almost exactly the same night sky that the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Romans looked at, as well as a bunch of other major world civilizations. In a sense, they've seen everything that humans have passed through - and that's also because they don't ever disappear! They seem to "fade out" when the day comes, but that's only because the sunlight happens to overpower their brightness - they're like silent, and half the time invisible, witnesses of every action being made. That very notion is enough to cause us to wonder about our own origins and what we are truly made of. [Again, the level of discussion here astounded me. It’s clear to me, and I’m certain it was clear to the author, that Allegro spent time with this poem, that she read it through more than once and became invested in its message. She believed the theme was fascinating, but the execution was just ‘good’. Allegro communicated in an encouraging tone that with more specific imagery inspired by the facts she’s presented here, the poem could be as fascinating as its theme.]
This is really more of an issue with the subject matter than anything else, but there are so many things you could discuss that are related to the stars. We have entire fields of study based off on them, such as astronomy, astrophysics, and (though this is not a science) astrology. It's intriguing how all these bodies of light have inspired humans to both work towards gaining a better understanding of our universe, as well as perhaps determine their own fate. [And here, Allegro goes the extra mile by offering avenues of ideas for the poet to wander down, should she decide to explore Allegro’s train of thought and take this poem to the next level.]
[Allegro adjusted the Review Tool Template to suit her needs for this review. Since she had no comments to offer with regard to punctuation, spelling or grammar, she simply deleted that subject heading. This is one of the beauties of the Review Tool. It is as versatile and you need it to be. And just like you can delete a heading, you can also add one. Suppose, just for example, Allegro had wanted her discussion about the poem’s theme to stand alone. She could have easily added a heading called “Theme.”]
My Favorite Part:
"This small world that we live in, is such a minute part,
To understand the universe, I don’t know where to start" [The most helpful kind of review to offer is one that is balanced and discusses both positive and negative feedback. Closing the review with a favorite moment from the work, one that you felt truly shined, is a great way to finish on a positive note. It’s important that the author know you appreciated what was working well in the piece, particularly after discussing weaknesses in the writing.]
 Thank you so much for sharing your work! [I believe a closing line of salutation is as polite and important as the greeting. It further heightens the friendly, conversational voice achieved in the review. Well done!]
[My Final Notes: I appreciated that Allegro’s review was well-written with few grammatical mistakes or typos. She’d taken care to construct coherent, complete sentences. A review should always be approached as an exercise in creative writing. The same care should be taken to convey your feedback as you would put into your short stories or poems. Rereading your work and spell-checking to locate and correct mistakes is very important for your credibility as a reviewer!]
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Help me congratulate allegroconbrio for her wonderful, winning review!
I’d also like to congratulate "TWIST Review Challenge" Honorable Mention winners ~ Aqua ~  and CapriceRogers  for their hard work. Both were awarded Reviewing Merit Badges! You can read their winning work here:
Aqua’s Review of "new emerged waves" 
Caprice’s Invalid Review
Way to go, ladies!!
 Every month I promote highlighted contests, activities, groups, forums and fundraisers geared to support teen writers. Please read through them and click the links
[Contests For Teen Writers]
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“In this contest, you must write me a short story or poem that takes place in another dimension or on another world...Each round in this contest lasts for three weeks! Right now, your deadline is July 22nd!" ~ logandrip – Click the link for full contest details!
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“ Hard science fiction' is science fiction that is based wholly on real science. All the scientific details should be accurate and the story should be theoretically possible. That doesn't mean it's necessarily practical, or possible with our current level of technology, but it needs to be at least plausible.
This contest is for hard science fiction ONLY. I will post a prompt every month that you can use however you want to, as long as it's plausible.” ~ atreidesmouse
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"Rules
*One entry only please
*One thousand words or less
*Keep it civil." ~ Lost In My World
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"This is a weekly writing contest for short stories, articles or essays on any subject, any genre, fiction or non-fiction, as long as it's rated 13+ or less. There are NO PROMPTS and NO SPECIAL WORDS. You're on your own and may the best story win!" ~ evertrap
[Forums For Teen Writers]
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“Determined Dyslexic Society, Coming together to help each other become better writers. I hereby pledge that I am a teen of WDC and I either am dyslexic or I simply wish to support teens with dyslexia any way I can… ” ~ ember_rain
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“The purpose of the 'Help Desk' is to guide you to the right area of Writing.Com. If you have any questions--feel free to post them in the forum." ~ Lornda  
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“Welcome! In this forum you'll be able to see, and learn, how to use the different links that Writing.Com uses." ~ 🦄🏳️🌈Sapph
[Group For Teen Writers]
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“As a teenager myself, I have to admit I am quite eager to meet fellow authors. At my school, sports and popularity is prized, not the true gift of writing. For writing is a gift, to be used by an author to reflect their imagination and experience.
Here everyone will have the opportunity to read, review, and get reviewed by other teenagers. ~ rmm55
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“Our name is our aim! I.N.K.E.D. is an acronym for Inspiring Newcomers through Kind and Encouraging Deeds, but it also stands for community spirit. We want to inspire newcomers. Having arrived on this page, we’ll try and give you some idea how we go about doing just that.” Riot
“...being a newbie I felt there should be a group pertaining to our needs, for us to get familiar with our fellow members, share our experiences and make friends in the process. It will help us to promote our own writings and get reviews for them.
So, it was with this aim in mind that this Group was created.” ~*Arpita*~
[Activities/Sig Shop]
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[TWIST! Announcements!]
Feel free to visit our Group Forum!! This is the place you can go to meet other TWIST! members and to talk about what you are doing to maximize your WDC experience. Please stop by and introduce yourself today!
If you have an item you would like promoted in an upcoming TWIST! email, please fill out this survey
Thank you so much for your attention! If you have any suggestions for how I can improve these monthly newsletters, let me know. The next email will go out in about four week’s time. Until then, I hope you check out the activities listed here! See you next time!!
Keep ing!
~Nicki~
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