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Complex Numbers #953132 added February 25, 2019 at 12:31am
Restrictions: None
Wuv. Twue Wuv.
I've been hanging on to this one since before V-Day, and I'm finally to the point where I can read it without associating it with that disgusting holiday.
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20190211-the-dark-side-of-believing-in-true-love...
Old-fashioned romantics might have the wrong idea about love. Strong beliefs in true love could be blinding you to both the good and bad in your partner, with sometimes toxic results.
Never thought the BBC would jump on the "You're Doing It Wrong" bandwagon, but I suppose that's spilled over into everything now.
Psychologists have found two scales that influence how we start and maintain relationships.
One measures how much importance we put onto first impressions and early signs of compatibility, while the other measures how likely we are to work through problems in relationships. They are called implicit theories of relationships (because we don’t often talk about them). We might intuitively think of ourselves as more or less likely to believe in true love – but this is not something that we openly discuss with others or are conscious of when we start new relationships.
Right, and I'm sure that these were verified in scientific tests and then replicated by other researchers.
Regardless, I skimmed over the quizzes. But they might be useful to someone.
Particularly in the early stages of a relationship the presence of an issue can precipitate a break-up, as the destiny believer realises that their “perfect” soulmate is fallible. The destiny believer may argue that their partner “never really understood me” or that a small fault is “evidence that we’re not really compatible.” This is the case even if the couple are relatively well matched, Franiuk has found.
This is also an abominably common plot device in romantic comedies. Or at least the few I've seen.
They say the course of true love never did run smooth – but a greater awareness of our own romantic tendencies might just help us navigate those bumps and turns along the way.
"They" don't "say" that - Shakespeare said that, and in a play that was even more a satire on love and destiny than the infamous Romeo and Juliet was. It's a sad day indeed when a British publication fucks up a Bard quote... |
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