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#995512 added October 10, 2020 at 12:02am
Restrictions: None
Fail
Entry #4 for

Journalistic Intentions Open in new Window. (18+)
This is for the journal keeping types that come to PLAY! New round starts July 1!
#2213121 by Turkey DrumStik Author IconMail Icon


*Drbag* Dr. Fail


Could be a Bond villain name, right? I mean, it would give away the ending, but really, you know Bond's going to win and the other guy's going to... well... fail... anyway, so why not?

Anyway, I got curious and looked up the origin of the name Fail. Turns out it's Scottish,  Open in new Window., which I'm sure will amuse any British readers to no end.

That hyperlink also shows the Fail Coat of Arms. You know, the family crest, with all the heraldic shit.

I really wish I had Photoshop skills right now, because I could come up with a far more appropriate and amusing crest. Appropriate and amusing, that is, to anyone not named Fail. That helmet, for example, would have a halberd stuck in it. Maybe add the dog from Duck Hunt that laughed like an idiot every time you failed. Perhaps bagpipes with a hole in the bag. Or modernize it with a drawing of a motorcycle wreck.

I know, I know, it's rude to make fun of peoples' last names. You should be proud of your last name, even if it's Fail. I'm certain the family has a proud history. I mean, hell, it's produced at least one doctor.

And yet, we can't help it, can we? Funny names are funny. There's the story of a Dr. A. Hedgeh, for example, who apparently had a problem with people adding "og" to his nameplate. I can't do it justice here, but have a link to the result: https://i.redd.it/zwt1s91nkuz01.jpg

This being the internet, of course, it's entirely possible that the Dr. Hedgehog story is made-up, in whole or in part, because unlike me, other people can do amazing things with Photoshop. Less likely with the Dr. Fail thing, as I found multiple sources. Here's another one: http://www.thefails.org/

Which doesn't mean all the available information is completely truthful. After all, you can try to fact-check everything, make sure it has some grounding in reality. But often enough...

...you fail.

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