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About This Author
I am a 40 year old married mother of two teenage boys. I live for writing, especially romance. Love the happily ever after scenerio. The best thing about writing for me is the ability to lose yourself in your work, and feel as if you've accomplished something great. At the end of the day, that's all that really matters.
Poisoned Purple Pen
New siggie



She sat down at her old wooden desk, pen at the ready. Her thoughts raced. What shall I write today? Tilting her head to the side, a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth before enveloping her delicate face. The purple ink began to fill the once blank sheet, each stroke a labor of pure joy as the words flowed from her mind, her heart, her very soul.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone

My Dreams...

to write of romance and endless love
to love without boundaries
to learn from past mistakes
to laugh with all my heart
to be the woman I am meant to be


Inspiration



TODAY...

I will reach for the stars

Will not give up

Will give all that I have

Dare to dream the impossible dream

For anything in this life is possible


Daughter of Desire

Signature for nominees of the 10th annual Quill Awards <---I am blown away by this






Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
December 12, 2024 at 8:14pm
December 12, 2024 at 8:14pm
#1081091
Never speak the words...it can't get any worse, because I'm here to tell you, YES IT CAN!

So R's helper went to the doctor last Thursday. We knew he was going and that he was getting sick. Next thing I know, R has a sore throat, fever, chills, wicked cough on Friday. He came home from work, ate soup and crashed. I knew there was no way I'd escape whatever he had. He never thought it could be Covid. I mean we hadn't had that in two years.

My throat was burning Thursday and Friday it was progressively getting worse. Another sign.

R gets a zpack from his Friday telehealth visit, because our dr never wants us in office if we're sick.

I had an extra antibiotic because of a previous infection that was difficult to get rid of, so I figured, this sinus infection I need to take care of ASAP. That was Saturday. I was completely whipped, hardly moving from my chair. Sunday I spent the entire day in bed I was so physically exhausted. Our poor kid was avoiding us like the plague. Who could blame him?

I left work early Monday, I couldn't handle it. Turned a corner that night, so Tuesday wasn't too bad.

On Wednesday, the helper tells us how his mother and grandmother tested positive for Covid. I swear I wanted to hurt that kid.

I couldn't help myself last night, took the test since I knew if I was positive, it would still be in my system. Yep. Positive.
By this time Danny is now sick, no avoiding that in this house. I drag him to the dining room, positive too. So it can't be a false positive for me like R believes.

And then today, as we are all back at work and I'm getting ready to head home, Danny tells me there's a problem in the bathroom.

Water is coming out of the toilet. Can't find the plunger. I remember it's in the public bathroom I'd closed off last week because some idiot flushed the roll of toilet paper and it took a lot of effort to clear that shit.

I unlock that door, grab the plunger, useless. This is the bathroom we all use at work. It's a problem. Hubby sends me home, nothing I can do anyway. Driving home he calls to tell me the water is now coming up through the floor drain. In both bathrooms. It's a disaster. We had single digits today so he's thinking the sewer is frozen. I call the city, they come out, try to investigate, get nowhere. Hubby comes home, can't reach the plumber.

The store is still open, I keep getting pictures of the water level, wondering if it will get worse during the night after we close.

The city will be back out tomorrow.

All I know is, yes, T, it can, and it will get worse.
November 7, 2024 at 9:47pm
November 7, 2024 at 9:47pm
#1079632
Well, we are back to hell. And I really can't complain since I couldn't in good conscience vote for Kamala since I've been screaming for a year over Gaza and now watching and waiting as things spiral in Lebanon, where my husband and daughter-in-law's families are. My family.

But never once did I think that orange putrid being would get rehired. Color me disgusted and shocked. What was worse was that the Muslim community INVITED that being into my hometown of Dearborn, Michigan. They welcomed him and BELIEVED him. The Muslim ban guy. The guy that thinks Bibi should finish the job. I mean, what in the actual fuck *Headbang*

It's heartbreak at its finest, as far as I'm concerned.

You know, Dems need to learn how to lie to communities confidently because that seems to be what works, as disgusting as that is. It drives me nuts that Dems sit back and take it and always have to take the high road. Where does that get us? Not anywhere good, that's for damn sure.

Supreme Court, gone.
House, gone
Senate, gone
No checks. No balances. Welcome to Democracy.

All I can do now is hope that being keeps his word and ends the slaughter in Gaza and Lebanon, though I highly doubt it. If I'm wrong, fanfriggintastic, I'll admit it, but if things blow up, as I fear, I will call out every single one of my husband's friends who voted for this BS.

It's still on the down low, but my daughter-in-law is pregnant. She suffered a miscarriage earlier this year, and all I can think about is how many women are suffering already because of this male/Christian superiority complex where they must control women's bodies and decide what is right for everyone else. If something happens again, and her life is put on the line because of these insane laws about to hit America where Politicians know better than Doctors, you all better run for the hills because I will not be able to contain my outrage.

As Ana Kasparian said loudly and proudly. I don't care that you're a Christian. In fact, I would fight for you to have your religious liberty and practice your Christianity. I don't believe in Christianity, which means that you don't get to dictate the way that I live my life based on your religion. I don't care what the Bible says. All the women in the world in your religion have every right to not have an abortion, to not use birth control. But they do not have the right to dictate my life, and what I decide to do with my body. You do not get to dictate the way I live my life based on your religion. I don't care about your God damned religion. You do not get to take the bible and tell me well the bible says this, this chapter and this verse. I DON'T CARE!

I will never understand how people claim to love this country yet, don't know jack shit about the actual Constitution and what it stands for. First and Foremost...THE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE. For fucks sake, it's in black and white. This country was not founded on religious principles; there was no one superior religion, for crying out loud.

And for the record, to all the men who voted for the women in their lives, I applaud you. Watching some of the videos you put out on election day had me in tears and gave me hope.

However, for me, the biggest shock was that 15 million Democrats skipped the presidential part of the ballot in protest of the genocide. I thought my third-party protest vote was one of a handful. Their voices were louder than I thought, and I was not alone in this fight to stop this war with our tax dollars.

I wish Aipac would get the fuck out of politics and stop buying off our politicians. Until that time, we are just fucked all the way around. I refuse to be part of the United States of Israel!


October 9, 2024 at 7:42am
October 9, 2024 at 7:42am
#1077990
As if life isn't stressful enough, with daily bombings in Lebanon, I now have a stubborn to the core, injured Lebanese refusing medical care

My husband fell at work yesterday. I had just left to run up to Sam's Club. He was working on a car, carrying oil, hit the step stool, lost his balance, and his knee hit the base of the hoist *Headbang*.

When I got back to work, he told me, blew it off. I left work at 3, and at 5 he called and told me he couldn't drive and to come get him. He was using a cane and could hardly walk. It took 5 minutes to get him into the house because he insisted on no help.

All night he refused going to the ER. All he kept saying was, the ice will take the swelling down. Yes, it did, but he still cannot walk. I heard him at night shuffling through the house.

He also said multiple times, that in all his years of professional soccer, he's never had an injury like this. Hello! You infuriating man, you probably broke something!

I'm up, anxiously waiting to see if he will finally let me take him to get it looked at and it's driving me crazy.

I had to call my employee in to cover my shift, and R thinks I'm going in to cover the garage while he what? Sits at home thinking it will be better tomorrow?????

I know he's going to be pissed, but my inner bitch is about to rear her ugly head if he thinks I am going to sit back and watch him suffer through another day.

Pray I can convince him to get checked out before I turn into a raving lunatic.
September 30, 2024 at 12:54pm
September 30, 2024 at 12:54pm
#1077490
It seems I haven't written in my blog in forever.

And today, I'm just so damn depressed I need an outlet. I'm going to apologize now for what this rant may entail as I'm writing on the fly, and I'm working the counter at the gas station, so there's that.

Health-wise, I have no idea what's going on with me there. All I know is that my ultrasound came back almost normal. There is a clue that I should have my AC1 checked since diabetes runs on both sides of my family. I don't see that as a huge deal; whatever that outcome is, I can manage it.


- Warning - Warning - Warning - profanity is definitely coming!

I swear to God, I do not know what is worse at this damn point. My blood relatives in America [and I include my step-family in that] or all of my husband's family who are suffering through another fucking war by a genocidal evil monster. Satanyahu, yep, that's what I call him, is a massive piece of shit IMO.

Most of R's family is in Beirut, except a few, including his 90-year-old mother, who is up in the mountains where we have a house. One I haven't seen since January 2017, mind you.

I admit that I have a big mouth on social media. I hate seeing evil done - to anyone - and what has been allowed to continue in Gaza pisses me off on the daily. I admit it. It's slaughter, and if I have to hear the phrases:

-right to protect itself
-human shields
-God's chosen people
-Started on October 7th
-Oops, collateral damage


One more goddamned time, I may physically haul off and hurt someone.

Personally, I don't give two shits about religion. I grew up Catholic and married a Muslim. I don't practice my born into religion. I practice believing in a higher power, spirituality, not being a shitheel of a human, trying to help others when I can, not tacking more shit onto another, and if that's not good enough, then Fuck it! I believe in Karma. The good you do comes back to you, which also applies to the bad. That's it.

For the life of me, I will never understand this fucked up policy of the US government to bend over and take it in the ass by an apartheid state. No matter what you think about Israel, that is what they are. Open air prisons, blaming Hamas for every damn thing, investigating their selves. I mean, that's classic there. Suppose you're Israeli and you do wrong [stealing Palestinian homes, lands, burning their houses down, shooting them because you are a settler]. In that case, they look the other way, but a Palestinian kid throwing a rock gets starved, beaten, locked up, and shackled for decades.

How is Abu Graib prison and all the horrible things the US Army did a stain on America, but this insanity, including raping Palestinian prisoners with objects so severely that they are dying, crippled, injured for life, not a stain on Israel? Oh, that's right, *Facepalm* they are God's chosen people shitstains. My bad.

Since leveling Gaza wasn't enough, and the Zio Biden Administration is all up BiBi's ass, now they have a free pass. And billions more of my goddamn tax dollars to turn Lebanon into the next Gaza and West Bank.

Israel is already hitting places they have never touched. Ever. I spent my entire weekend live streaming the bombing and living on What's app trying to assure my family that they would be safe.

I am a survivor of the 2006 War between Hez and Iz, trapped there like a rat, waiting for George W Bush to come up with a fucking evacuation plan because the US didn't have one. Go figure. I've witnessed the horrors, not on the same scale as Gaza, or the Sabra/Shatila massacres that my husband fled from, walking over dead burning bodies and trying to drown out the screams of Palestinians that Israel ran over and buried alive, but enough to see these horrors with my own damn eyes.

I was never a fan of Hez. They did a lot of rotten shit. I don't applaud Hamas, but I do not for one second believe that shit story Iz told on Oct 7 about raping, beheaded babies, cooked children, and whatever other propaganda they put out to the world, that my own dirty Government continues to parrot as truth. And if you want the truth, look no further than Haretz, who came out and admitted 95% of the Israili claims were bullshit. That 1200 death toll number, I highly doubt that 600 of them were done by Hamas. Why? Because 20 US-made Apache helicopters went after that musical festival and shot at everything that moved. So keep blaming Hamas and innocent Palestinians for all this disgusting bloodshed.

You can call me crazy, a terrorist sympathizer, blast me for maintaining my stance that Israel is a terrorist state, etc. I've been called worse online. I no longer care.

All I know is, I refuse to vote for either party, screw the whole lesser of two evils crap they've been hitting me with most of adult life. What has this government done for American citizens? Veterans? Homeless? Not a whole hell of a lot. We feed the war machine. That's the US government's profit business, that's all they truly care about.

Now where has my American family been since this started? Feeling horrible on day one in October 2023. Since then? Not a peep. When Hez and Iz were volleying back and forth, which Israel started btw on Oct 7, sending warning shots so Hezbullah wouldn't interfere, did anyone reach out? Say a word? Nope. When pagers blew up all across Lebanon, did my blood family contact me? Nope. How about when Hez leaders were being targeted in Beirut? Nope.

On Sunday, Sept 22nd, my brother-in-law fell down the stairs and broke his femur. Now I know what a painful and devastating thing that is, because my employee went through the same thing two years ago. They get him to the hospital, 2 days later, moved hospitals, now they were all over Facebook trying to get people to donate O negative because the hospitals were out of blood. Finally get people to donate, and guess what? No fucking bags to collect the blood, so don't send anyone one to donate. It took until Friday to get him the surgery he desperately needed. And then they sent him home on Saturday, because they needed beds for the people being injured in bombings.

We were up half the night on Friday, worried, watching the live feed from a few different channels. Every bomb that exploded took me back to 2006, feeling the ground shake beneath my feet, hearing the screams all over again and my husband's family trying to reassure me that they never hit that area we all live in. Which was true. Until last night when those fuckers struck a building at the Cola intersection. My nephew hadn't made it home yet, and if he'd been two minutes slower in crossing that intersection, I cannot fathom to guess what would've happened to him. We stayed up again last night watching that shit unfold. Did my family call? Still not a damn word.

I get it. They don't want to talk about Gaza. They don't want to hear us complain about our government, the billions we spend on endless wars, the trap of the Dems and Repubs, because I don't believe either one of them truly care about any of us. As long as we are working so they can tax us multiple times on the same money and fall in line, they don't give a shit.

I'm sure this entire rant session was a disaster as, I'm just all over the place.

Two hours, and I'm off shift, so I can go home and wallow. Yet it's tax day. I have to scrounge up the almighty dollar to pay my property taxes to the man.

Think I need to take a good deep breath as well. Couldn't hurt.

Oh, and if any of my blood family happen upon this. Thanksgiving? Not feeling it. Christmas either. Don't pretend to care now when I don't open my house for you all to come to the trough and act like you suddenly feel really bad.
















June 6, 2024 at 4:47pm
June 6, 2024 at 4:47pm
#1072248
Today is a shit day. Tomorrow will be worse.

My dil lost the baby. We are all sad and in shock. They scheduled surgery for first thing in the morning.

I hate that her entire family is overseas, except for us.

It just sucks.

I know it's way better this way, but I feel like I'm in a fog, trying to figure out what to say, what to do.
Ugh!





Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
May 2, 2024 at 2:01pm
May 2, 2024 at 2:01pm
#1070417
Well, here I am, back at my old stomping ground again. How freakin fantastic is that? Pretty damn fantastic if you ask me.

I'm sitting here at work [shhhh, don't tell that I'm playing hookey at my desk in back] and it's FINALLY QUIET.

Road construction began a few weeks ago, but this week, it's been INSANE. Watching the impatient drivers who think my parking lot is their escape route, is pissing me off. I'm not gonna lie. Within five minutes - 300 seconds - I watched at least 30 cars cut through, one almost hitting a pump, another, missing my husband by mere inches since he was trying to move a vehicle so he could pull out of the bay and bring another in.

I almost called the police to get their ticket quota on Monday watching the craziness, but I didn't. Today, hell yes I did! They were so excited about my phone call that they immediately sent me up to the traffic department, where I got the pleasure of leaving a message! *Headbang* Assholes. They must be busy confusing peaceful college protests with rioters. I mean, why else would they not bother to come and prevent people from having an accident or hitting a construction worker? *Whistle*

Now that my venting is out of the way.

*ConfettiV* *Giftg* IT'S MY BIG 17 YEAR WDC ANNIVERSARY *Giftv* *Confettig*

And I get to share this date with....JACE Author Icon Hi Jace!

I've been good since "Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon ended. And what I mean by good is, I started getting

"House of Sensual Prose "  Open in new Window. by Purple Holiday Princess Author Icon ready to reopen AND

"Erotic Romance Writing & Review Group"  Open in new Window. by Purple Holiday Princess Author Icon open again *Shock*

I know. How freakin fantastic is that?

For all you lovely peeps who sent me goodies and well wishes today, THANK YOU. You all have been so welcoming and wonderful since I returned at the end of March and reminded me what it is about this place that I *Heartv*

I'm off. Gotta go see what other gems lie waiting in my port.





April 24, 2024 at 10:52pm
April 24, 2024 at 10:52pm
#1069611
I'm Back!

As you can see, it's been a good four years since I've been active here, as iKïyå§ama Author Icon has pointed out. *Smile*

Other than the weekly check-ins of scoping email, and the newsfeed, I haven't done much writing. Buying a gas station and having the grandbaby take up most of my time.

I came back after an invite from Lyn's a Witchy Woman Author Icon asking if I was up for joining House Florent for GOT. I've done it a few times and always found it challenging, stressful, rewarding, etc. How could I say no to that? So here I am, writing, reviewing, reconnecting! It's been amazing.

I've realized how much I missed this place and the people. I'm scratching my head wondering how I let this part of me go. This community is the absolute best, and that's not just my opinion. Look around you at the friendships you've made over the years and all the help you've received as we are all on this shared writing journey.

I jumped right in, hit the "Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon realm running, and haven't slowed down yet.

Being welcomed back by everyone has touched me deeply. It's been a bit overwhelming, but some days I feel like I've never left. How can people I knew four years ago, pick right up where we left off back then so easily? It is heartwarming, and I realize that is the best part of WdC. These relationships, the wonderful people who care about you, give you honest advice about your craft and life, listen to you vent [yes, I'm talking about you Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline Author Icon], and always cheer you on.

I've reconnected with so many of you, and I appreciate it. I want you all to know that even if I haven't mentioned you by name.

So here I am, back at WdC, looking forward to no more weekly check-ins. This community gives me a sense of belonging I haven't felt in a long time. For that, I thank you! *Heartv*
December 24, 2020 at 12:39pm
December 24, 2020 at 12:39pm
#1000779
Prompt: How is covid changing your holiday plans and how do you feel about that?

Blasted piece of shit Covid. God we were so close to making it through 2020 covid free. But of course, that's what I get for thinking.

Now, I know this isn't going to be love conquers all, so great to be married for so long, blah, blah, blah entry. Instead, I am going to rip the husband to shreds since I blame him for infecting the rest of us.

That devoted man that I've been married to for 29 fucking years put indoor Soccer over his families health. Asshole. I have been livid for an entire week now. I had entire rant in my head all planned to lash out on him, but God help me, I haven't let it rip.

I mean fucking seriously. Since when is indoor soccer a necessity during a fucking pandemic? Why was it fucking more important than the people he actually lives with?

On the drive home from urgent care he had the audacity to turn to me and say, "You know what made me think I had it? I lost my sense of smell." To that I hit him as hard I as I could in the arm while he was driving and told him he was an ass. He was already experiencing symptoms for 7 days. Brushing off each one as they came. I even asked if he wanted to go get tested and his response was, "for what?" Fucker!

The only smart thing he did during those 7 days was have me call my parents and cancel our regular Saturday dinner plans. But he had no trouble letting our oldest and his wife come over that weekend while he was coughing and having chills. Who does that?

I am the designated house for Christmas. It was bad enough that my step siblings and their families weren't coming. My mother is battling early onset Alzhiemer's, and these are the moments I am struggling to spend time with her because of this piece of shit pandemic. But nope, another god damned day taken away.

I cannot even pinpoint if I am asymptomatic, or when the date was that I caught this shit virus. Which means trying to postpone Christmas to New Year's Day doesn't seem like a smart idea to me. But the family is all pushing for that. I swear it's like they've all lost their damn minds.

Luckily, we all had pretty mild symptoms. R's symptoms: severe back pain, followed by chills and coughing. Then just as he thinks he's getting better. BAM! Loss of smell. He's still coughing. My oldest had a false negative rapid test, and the results from the regular test came back positive. He had a stuffy nose, chills, cough, fatigue. Then the loss of smell and taste. His wife has pretty much followed all of his symptoms, with the exception of the loss of senses. She still hasn't lost any of those. My youngest has a cough, sore throat and it has wrecked havoc on his stomach. I swear that kid has easily lost ten pounds in a week. Saturday I started noticing symptoms, but swore that I had a sinus infection, which is usually what I get just before the holidays as Michigan works its ass off to try and figure out what kind of weather we shall have from day-to-day.

It started with the sinus issues, and Sunday during dinner I had a few bouts of severe back pain, that went away as quickly as it began. I wondered then if my rapid test was indeed a false negative as well. But the Dr had already told me not to test for at least 5 days after the last test, and only test if I was having symptoms.

Monday I got in line at a drive-thru testing site, which took a fucking hour, where of course I fell asleep while waiting in my damn car.

So no, Christmas I'm not looking forward to you. At least my son and daughter-in-law will be there since we are all Covid positive. Dinner will be just a regular one without all the trimmings. I mean fuck it, why bother, half the family won't be there anyway. And since I cannot smell anything or taste anything for that matter, I see no sense in going out of my way. Besides, I'm working tomorrow. Why? Because my fucking employee freaked out when she learned about my husband having covid and quit. Which leaves me the only dayshift worker. And since my son has covid too, I couldn't have him cover my ass when my uncle is covering his.

I'll miss hanging with the family that day, my mom especially, but this is where we're at. I'd never forgive myself I made her sick with this crap virus.

On a side note, for that person who so brilliantly had to go and make a fake account just to rip on a few of us who put the blame where it belongs in the US, squarely on that piece of shit in the White House and didn't do a god damned thing to try and save the people in the US. I wish you hadn't been such a coward and deleted your account. You certainly had no qualms dishing shit out. No, Trump is no God, nor is he the Devil, but he is a disgusting piece of human garbage. And if you don't like hearing that, too fucking bad. The truth hurts. That man only gives two shits about himself, which he proves every god damned day. So don't go preaching to me about your beliefs. For I am not one to sit down take it when someone is wrong about something so damn serious. Covid is fucking serious. Subjecting us to herd immunity? What a fucking prick. Where has that gotten us? Over 300,000 dead. On his watch. That makes him fucking responsible. Maybe if he'd actually have a heart, he'd care enough to do something about it.

I ramble too much, and I know this is so off the rails. Blame it on Covid. I am! Right now I'm just a miserable bitch and I don't care.
"JAFBG"  Open in new Window. by Elisa: Snowman Stik Author Icon

September 2, 2020 at 9:17pm
September 2, 2020 at 9:17pm
#992198
Monday was hell. I'm not going to lie about that. Everything went wrong, pretty much.

It's my job to open the gas station 4 days a week. I hardly ever sleep well on Sunday night. Probably because I know how busy I'm going to be for the next 5 days, worried about making ends meet on a new business, trying to figure out where to get products that no one seems to have in stock, etc. Either I forgot to set my alarm, or it went off and I shut it off immediately and went back to sleep.

R, my husband wakes me 6:45. I'm usually up at 5 and out the door by 5:30. I rush out of bed, do my usual routine, minus the coffee and off I go. I heard him moving around, figured he wouldn't be too far behind me heading to work. My money-making time at work is 6-8 am. Losing a full hour of money was a hard pill for me to swallow.

At 7:30, R calls. The first thing he says is I've been in an accident. It's not just the shock that had me shaking most of the day. His voice was so shaken, that it had me shaking as well. He tells me the car is probably totaled. He loved that car. I hated that car, so of course, I feel guilty because I've told him for the last 4 years how much I hate that car. I call and wake our youngest, tell him to be ready to go get his dad. R shows up at work, tells me about the accident, and how if he'd been driving any faster, or hadn't seen the guy blowing the red light he and the car would've been ripped in half. Between his voice on the phone, and the thoughts that race upon hearing that, I just couldn't shake it all day.

R's Accident

I spilled a full bottle of Lemonade on a customer's 10 lottery tickets. *Facepalm* Lucky for me it was a regular and he gave me a pass.

Things just went downhill for the rest of the day. And then, R tells me he's going to his soccer game that night. *Shock2*
Me: Are you out of your damn mind?
R: laughs
Me: You've been in an accident, you've worked your butt off all day, all of the trauma is going to hit you. You're not going.
R: goes back to work.

Well, of course, he went to his game. Seriously I was livid. Tempted to grab onto his leg and see if he could drag me out the door with him. I mean come on, we are 53 and 52. Our bodies do not heal like they used to, and we both have had broken bones that have led to arthritis and other issues that remind us they are there on a daily basis. If he hadn't been in an accident I probably would've smacked him upside the head, but I didn't.

I went to bed while he was gone. Tuesday he comes into work.
Me: You're limping
R: Yea, my knee
Me: How's your back? [he was feeling the accident before he came home from work Monday]
R: Sore
Me: Sigh, I told you not to do it. I told you not to go play soccer, that you'd be feeling everything.
R: I had to go. And I kicked ass!
Me: *Headbang* *Headbang* *Headbang* I give


Manic Monday - The Bangels - 1986

August 7, 2020 at 12:43pm
August 7, 2020 at 12:43pm
#990188
Prompt: Lecture time. Write about some harsh truths that people need to accept.

Sigh. What a shit week. Scratch that. What a SHIT YEAR. 2020 can just fuck off already.

I don't even know where to begin at this point. Basically, I'm heartbroken. Furious. Enraged. Fucking pissed off at the enormity of it all.

Let me just tell you that first off, I have dual citizenship [twitter jag offs keep calling me out for living in the US]. US born and raised, and then Lebanese. I have lived in Lebanon back in the early 1990s when they were coming out of civil war. I've seen the destruction that left behind and watched as they worked their assess off to rebuild the city of Beirut again. I have spent nearly every summer since 1992 there. I lived in the heart of Beirut. My husband's soccer team is located in Ashrafieh, which is now obliterated. We spent a lot of time in that suburb of East Beirut. I was there in 2006 when Hezbollah and Israel destroyed the country all over again. What an evacuation story that was.

What happened on Tuesday is mind boggling. I keep trying to wrap my damn head around it, erase the horrifying images from my mind, but I can't. Every day brings new videos, new tales of terror, and the fucking piece of shit government that has robbed, raped, manipulated and ruined what beauty Lebanon has to offer, hasn't done one damn thing. Not. One. They are too busy lining their pockets and neglecting their people.

They get on tv and say they will bring justice for those lost. Really? Hey fuck stick, YOU are the ones to blame. Every god damned last one of them in that government. You knew there were 2750 tons of ammonium nitrate sitting there for 6 fucking years. You knew damn well it was dangerous. What did you do? And do not even try to sell me the bullshit that it was confiscated and awaiting being shipped out. Unless of course you mean confiscated so that Fucking Asshole Nashrallah could build bombs with it. Hezbollah is a terrorist organization. Period. If you cannot acknowledge that. Fuck You. There is no help for you. Every person in that festering feces of an org can rot the fuck in hell.

The corruption is rampant over there. And we are not just talking about 2020, or 2019. This goes way back. My last name is...so therefore I'm entitled to...Fucking Soulless Assholes. Once Hezbollah got into the government, it's been a massive shit stain on the entire government and country as a whole. The civil war ended in 1990. To this day they still do not have 24 hour electricity. Imagine going to the grocery store and carrying everything you bought up flights of stairs to your house, putting the groceries away and your refrigerator is off. Up in the mountain where my house is, and yes, I still have a house there, we are lucky to get electric 12 hours a day. It comes and goes in intervals of 6 hours at a time. You can practically set your watch by it. Not this year. This year they are lucky to get 3 hours of electricity in a 24 hour period. And that's not just up in my mountain. That's Lebanon as a whole. Punishment for protesting I suspect.

When the younger generation took to the streets protesting, the economy was on the brink of collapse. They wanted the corruption to stop and the corrupt officials to step aside. They knew there was a better way. There had to be. Only 3 people stepped down. 3. They tried negotiating, suddenly claiming after 40 years of sporadic electricity, they had the means to provide everyone 24/7 electric. *Shock* *Headbang* How the fuck is it, that they had the means, knew their people were suffering, yet did nothing about it? WTF. Someone please explain this bullshit to me because for the life of me, I cannot figure it out. Do they get off knowing they are making people suffer?

Covid hit. Still they protested. These oppressed people have been taking to the streets for over six months, and the government refuses to step aside.

And now the blast that has killed, hundreds [so many are unaccounted for], injured 5000+, and destroyed half of Beirut happens. Where is the government? No where to be seen. The people, after being shocked to their core are the ones digging through rubble looking for survivors. They are ones cleaning up the debris so people can walk the streets and drive on the roads.

First they claimed it was fireworks. Laughable. Anyone who saw that footage, hell even a toddler could tell you that wasn't fireworks. When that explanation didn't fly, what did they do? They blamed the port authority for storing the explosives. *Facepalm* Just on whose authority was it that the explosives came to be there? Some random dude on the street? Fuckers. Now they've locked those people up. We all know who should be the ones rotting in a cell.

Yesterday, Macron from France arrived. It was heartbreaking watching people begging him to get involved, to help them. Every citizen there knows if money comes in, they will never see it. Macron swore he wasn't there for their government, but for the people. France's help would go to the people to rebuild, to eat, to help them find shelter as more than 300,000 are now homeless. What did the piece of shit excuse for a human being President do today as the 1.5 million ton shipment with food and medical supplies was set to arrive? He denied them entry. He told France they didn't need their help. Are you fucking insane? People are dying. Your food supply has nothing to replenish it since the grain silo at the port was destroyed. Everything is imported. And yet you want to be the world's biggest asshole and not help the very people who put your sorry ass in office? Go straight to hell Michel Aoun. Just who in the fuck do you think you are?

Instead of taking the desperately needed help and saving your people, you've decided you'd rather keep your head up the ass of Iran, and that terrorist Hassan Nasrallah. For fucks sake. Do you have a heart? Obviously not. The me mentality pisses me off to no end. This government is incapable of doing the right thing. They all need to be driven out of office, and out of the fucking country. Every last one of these fuckers. They all knew what was at the port. Did they care? Nope. God forbid they thought of something other than lining their pockets and kissing a terrorists ass.

Also today, the henchmen of Hezbollah were seen donning Red Cross clothing and shifting through the explosion site. Why? What the fuck were they looking for? What are they hiding. The President also decided they didn't want an international investigation. You know why? Because it will be proven that they willingly knew Hezbollah were making bombs. I also suspect that since Israel has been claiming this for years, that they actually bombed the site once it was confirmed that's what was happening there. I can't prove it. But I've lived there long enough, and seen enough as to what goes on over there to have an inkling of how things work over there. Israel has an itchy trigger finger where Hezbollah is concerned, and I don't blame them for that.

I also think the Israeli government are bunch of fucking hypocrites. Bombing the shit out of Palestine and killing Palestinians, bombing the shit out of Lebanon and killing innocents there as well, and suddenly, they want to help? Why now? Did they suddenly find their humanity? Doubtful. Is it possible that they bombed the site, not realizing the scope of what was underground? Hell fucking yes. I call fucking guilt on their quick conscious as to why they are so willing to help.

In a nutshell. If you support or follow a terrorist or terrorist organization, that makes you a shit stain on society. And I've got news for you, the NRA and KKK are included in this. You better fucking believe they are just as bad as Hezbollah.

I think I've ranted enough. I need a good long cry after I get out of work today. It's the only way I know how to decompress.

Rant over

"JAFBG"  Open in new Window. by Elisa: Snowman Stik Author Icon

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