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Jan 17, 2006 at 12:11am
#1205509
Airycat, actually the premise of the poem is wonderful, and I can relate to it, because the city I grew up in looks like a different place also. What I am feeling is, you want to emphasize the grayness of the city, in color and in meaning. I suggest, instead of repeating the word gray, find several different "gray" words or concepts. For example: "St. Mary's looming grayly" -St. Mary's, a looming giant slate,- etc. It is actually a good poem, I think. Once you finish it, it will be a gem. Sig by karjia96
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