“Why? Why did he do this to me?” Amber slurred into her empty glass.

“Look, lady, I don’t know why your boyfriend decided to break up with you, but it was last call twenty minutes ago and everyone else is gone. I wanna go home too, so you need to leave. I’m gonna get you a cab, OK?” Jake picked up the phone, and again regretted that he had agreed to cover for Chet when he called in sick.

Amber tried to focus on the phone, but found the room had started to spin. “Oh, I don’t feel so good. I-I-I think I’m gonna puke.” She clamped her hand up to her mouth and her skin took on a decidedly greenish cast.

“Well, don’t do it out here!” Jake threw down the phone, ran from behind the bar, grabbed Amber by the arm and attempted to get her to stumble quickly to the bathroom, all while trying to maintain a safe distance from the splash zone. “Here, go in there.” He pushed open the ladies room door and gently shoved her inside. Jake rubbed his face. “Damn you Chet! If I find out you didn’t really have the flu, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“What?” Amber’s voice echoed off of the tile.

“Ummmm, nothing. I was just talking to myself. Are you ok in there?” He was greeted by sounds of retching. “Yeah, I guess she’s ok,” he muttered under his breath.

After about a minute it stopped, and Amber opened the door. “Uhhh, James?”

“Jake.”

“Yeah, Jake. Could you get me my purse, please? I wanna fresh-freshen up a little.”

Jake looked back over to the bar and spied her purse sitting next to the chair she had just vacated. “All right. I’ll go get it, but can you please hurry up?”

“Anything for you, James.” She tried to wink, but it ended up looking more like a grimace.

Jake half-jogged over to the purse, retrieved it and brought it back to Amber. “Here, you go lady.”

“Amber.”

“What?”

“My name is Amber. You are James, and I am Amber.”

“Jake.”

“Right. Jake.” She grabbed for the purse and returned to the inner sanctum. Amber stared at the mirror and took in her disheveled appearance. Her blonde hair was matted against the side of her face. The mascara, so artfully applied that morning, ran down her cheeks. No hint of Passion Pink lipstick remained. “What are you doing, Amber? What would the guys think if they saw you like this?” she asked her reflection. She opened her purse and caught sight of the letter. She picked it up, but didn’t need to open it, because she had already memorized the contents.

“My Dearest Amber. You mean so much to me…blah, blah, blah. I don’t ever want to hurt you…blah, blah, blah. Long distance relationships are so hard…blah, blah, blah. I’ve fallen in love with someone else…blah, Blah, BLAH! Well, you know what Greg. I can fall in love with someone else too!” She stared in the mirror again, then grabbed some paper towels and swiped at the mascara trails. She found a brush and a ponytail holder and put her hair back. Turning on the faucet, she cupped her hands under the water, splashed her face, and then gargled some of it. She fished out her lipstick, and managed to apply it without smearing it outside of her lip line. The reflection staring back at her looked ten times better than it had.

“I deserve so much more than this,” she said to the letter. Her eyes fell on some matches that she had picked up at the bar earlier. She didn’t smoke, but they had a picture of a squirrel in a bow tie on them. Somehow, in her alcohol soaked brain, the picture had reminded her of their trip to Disney and the photo that she took of Greg with the Chip and Dale chipmunks. Without really thinking about it, she had slipped them into her purse. She looked back at the letter, then snatched out the matches and struck one. The match flared and she held it to the paper. An ember broke off from the burning pages and landed onto her wrist. She swatted at the ember and dropped the letter. It fell into a garbage can that was full of paper towels and quickly ignited the flammable mass.

“Oh shit!” she yelled. She attempted to throw water on it with her hands, but the fire was too much for the little amount of liquid she was getting on it.

“Jake! Come here, quick! Jake!!”

Jake had returned to the bar and was wiping down the counter, when he heard Amber’s cry for help. He dashed into the ladies room and saw the waste can on fire. Initially stunned by the sight of the flames, he quickly leapt into action. He ran back to the bar and got a fire extinguisher, then returned and successfully doused the mini conflagration.

He stared at Amber for a few seconds then asked, “What the hell happened?”

Amber stared back at Jake in stunned silence. Finally she managed to utter, “Ummmm.”

“Well?”

“I, ahhh, had a letter from my boyfriend…and I kinda set it on fire, but then I sorta dropped it by accident. I’m soooo sorry!” Her entire face flushed as she spoke.

Jake looked at her, shook his head, then turned and walked out of the bathroom.

Amber followed him and noticed that the fire seemed to have had an instant sobering affect on her. “Jake, I am really sorry. That was such a stupid thing to do.”

“You think?”

“Let me go clean up that mess in there. I mean it’s the least I can do after almost burning down your bar.”

“Don’t both…” he stopped and considered cleaning it himself. “You know what, you’re right. You made the mess, you can clean it up.” He went behind the bar and gathered the broom, the dustpan, some cleaner and paper towels and handed them to Amber.

“Thanks,” she said sheepishly and returned to the bathroom.

Jake rolled his eyes, but laughed a little. At least she was trying, and he had to admit to himself that after she cleaned herself up, she looked pretty damn good. Thinking about the movement of her hips as she had walked away, he grabbed a pair of scissors and started to slice through the tape on a box of whiskey. He heard the front door bells jingle. “Damn it! I forgot to lock the door!”

He looked up to see a scrawny guy, with pasty, white, pale skin. He wore a dirty, stained tank top, jeans, and he had oily hair, plus at least 3 days worth of scruff on his face. He reminded Jake of one of those sleazy carnie workers you find on the mid-way at the fair. “Sorry, buddy, we’re closed.”

“I don’ts think so….buddy.” The stranger pulled out a gun from behind his back and pointed it at Jake. “Why don’ts you gimme some of that there booze,” he waved the gun at the box Jake had just been opening. “Oh yeah, I’ll also takes all the cash out of the register too.” He grinned and revealed quite a few missing teeth.

Jake suspected from the guy’s manner, appearance and the missing teeth that he was a drug addict, which meant he was probably highly unstable. He ran through the options in his mind, including the gun under the counter at the other end and decided to play along for right now. “Sure, sure. Dude. Umm, let me get you a glass.”

“I don’ts need no glass! Just gimme the bottle and gimme the cash and maybe I won’ts kill ya!”

Amber chose that moment to emerge from the bathroom. “Jake, I need some…” she broke off when she saw the armed man.

The gunman looked over at Amber and flashed his grotesque smile, “Ooo- wee! Lookey what’s we got here! I think I just hits the jackpot. Booze, cash and one hot mama!”

Amber looked over to Jake and locked onto his eyes. He mouthed Stay calm. She nodded almost imperceptively.

“Hey, buddy! Look, you don’t need to hurt anyone, OK? I’ll give you the whiskey, all you want! And the cash. Just don’t hurt us, all right?” Jakes pleading tone drew their captor’s attention.

“Huh!” he snorted. “I don’ts want to hurt her. I just wanna fuck her!” he cackled at his crude attempt at humor. “I bet she’s a wild one, ain’ts she…Jake.”

“Just stay away from her!” He looked at Amber, and her eyes were the size of saucers. They seemed to silently plead with him to keep the psycho from hurting her.

“Awww, Jakey-Jake! Is that your woman? Now don’ts be selfish. You can share. I know she won’ts mind once she gets a taste of old Leon here.” He licked his lips.

“Leon, is it?” Jake asked in as friendly a tone as he could muster.

“That’s be me!” he said while scratching the side of his chin with the gun and leering at Amber.

“OK, Leon. Why don’t you let Amber and me walk out that door, and then you can have all the booze and cash you want. I’ll even leave my wallet.” Jake made large gestures with his hands to try to get Leon’s attention focused on him and away from Amber.

“Jakey-Jake. I can’ts do that man. You go running straight to the po-lice. And then I can’ts have any fun with little miss thing here. Ain’t s that right sweetie pie?” Leon waggled the gun in Amber’s direction.

“That’s right Leon. We can have a lot of fun if you want,” Amber said in a sultry voice. She flashed a smile at Leon and blew him a kiss.

Jake’s head snapped in Amber’s direction. He tried to catch her eye to figure out what the hell she was doing, but her gaze never waivered from Leon.

Leon was confused too. He hadn’t expected a willing participant. As a matter of fact, he’d been looking forward to the fight. “So, you’s wants a little of this Leon action, huh? See that Jakey-Jake,” he looked over at Jake with a twisted smile on his face, “she knows a good thing when she see’s it. Ain’ts that right, missy…” he searched his memory for the name.

“Amber. My name is Amber. Like the color,” she gave a soft throaty laugh.

“Ooo-wee! I think I gots a new favorite color! What about you Jakey-Jake. You like the color Amber?”

Jake wasn’t sure what to say and was still staring mystified at Amber. “Uh, yeah.” He tried to calculate how far away the gun under the counter was from his current location. He wasn’t sure what Amber was up to, so he was hesitant to make any kind of move.

Amber started slowly walking toward Leon. “You look like you really know how to give a woman a good time Leon.” She spoke low, so both Leon and Jake had to pay close attention to hear what she said. “I could really use a good time right now. My boyfriend just broke up with me, and I need a real man like you. So strong, so handsome. I bet you wouldn’t break up with me in some letter, huh Leon?”

“Is she crazy? She’s going to get us both killed.” Even as that thought went through Jake’s mind, he marveled at how calm Amber appeared. He knew that she didn’t want this slime ball anywhere near her, but she kept advancing slowly and steadily in Leon’s direction. He worried that if she got too close that Leon would grab her, then the gun under the counter wouldn’t help at all.

“No, no Miss Sweet thing. I’ds never let you go. Jakey-Jake broked up with you in a letter? “

“Not Jake. He’s my friend. But let’s forget about Jake. Let’s you and me get out of here and find someplace a little more private to party? Hmmm? Wouldn’t you like that Leon? Just you and me, all hot and sweaty.” Amber ran her hand down her throat sensually. She stopped at her top button and undid it very slowly. A peek of pink lace came into view.

Leon swallowed hard. “Hot and sweaty. Yeah, I’ds like that.”

Amber was within ten feet of Leon now. “Amber!” Jake barked softly, but she didn’t stop walking. She managed to undo another button and Leon was transfixed by the lacy bra and white mounds underneath the material. Amber stopped about five feet away from Leon.

“So, Leon, would you like to touch these?” she thrust out her chest.

“Oh God! What are you doing Amber?” Jake watched helplessly as Leon put out a shaky hand to touch Amber’s breasts.

Just before Leon laid his hand on her skin, Amber pivoted on her foot and did a round-house kick that would have made Jackie Chan proud. As Leon started to crumple to the ground, she smashed the palm of her hand into his nose. Blood exploded all over the place. The gun clattered to the floor and Leon landed in a heap at her feet. Amber reached down to feel for a pulse in his neck and shouted, “Jake! Secure his weapon.”

Jake stared in stunned silence at the scene he had just witnessed. “Jake! Get his gun!” Amber commanded. Amber’s voice broke him out of his reverie. He sprinted over and picked up the gun.

“Is-is he alive?” Jake asked with trepidation.

“Yeah. He’s just unconscious. I wasn’t trying to kill him.”

Jake had the feeling that if Amber had been trying to kill him, that Leon would be dead now. “What was all that, Amber?”

Amber let out a quick laugh at the look on Jake’s face. “I guess I should properly introduce myself. Aside from the drunken mess you met earlier, I’m better known as Lt. Amber Knight. US Army.”

“Wow! The Army taught you how to do that?”

“Not really. I’ll explain, but do you have any zip ties or something we can secure him with? He’s not going to stay out forever.”

Jake remembered some packing tape in the storage room and ran to retrieve it. He grabbed the scissors from earlier, and he and Amber proceeded to bind Leon’s hands and feet together.

“We should probably call the cops and an ambulance for our friend, Leon here,” Amber said.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right.” Jake went and grabbed the phone and dialed 911. “Ummm. Yeah. I’m at Squirrelly’s Bar on 7th Street. I need the cops and an ambulance right away.” Jake listened to the emergency operator. “A guy tried to rob the place, but uhhh, we managed to subdue him. “

Amber raised her eyebrows at Jake and mouthed “We?” and smiled.

Jake shrugged, but his face turned red. “No, there are three of us here. Me, my friend and the guy that tried to rob us. He had a gun, but my friend got it away from him and knocked him out. He’s the one that needs the ambulance.” Jake shook his head as if the person on the other end could see him. “No, no, my friend doesn’t need the ambulance. She’s fine. It’s the creep that tried to rob us that needs the ambulance.” More silence on Jake’s part. “Yeah, I said she.” Jake rolled his eyes at Amber. “OK. We’ll be here.” He hung up the phone. “The cops and the ambulance should be here in just a few minutes.”

“That’s good. Look, I know it was last call quite a while ago, but do you think I could get a really strong cup of coffee?”

Jake laughed. “Ummm, yeah. I think I can manage to do that for the woman that saved my life. You want me to add a shot of something?”

“No. I think I have quite enough to drink tonight.”

Jake moved behind the bar and started fixing the coffee. He looked over at Amber, who was staying near Leon, in case he started to stir. “So, you were saying the Army didn’t teach you all of that?”

“No, not really. Growing up I always wanted to do everything my brothers did. My parents let me take karate, along with them. It soon became apparent that I had a real knack for it. I’m a 4th degree black belt.” It was Jake’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “The Army decided to use my skills and made me a combat trainer.”

“Do all the trainers look like you? Because I bet the trainee’s get a bit distracted,” Jake nodded toward Amber’s still unbuttoned blouse.

Amber looked down and gave an embarrassed laugh. “Thanks,” she redid the buttons. “Yeah, some guys think because I’m a woman and because of my size, that I can’t take them on. That’s when I hand their ass to them.”

“I bet.” They heard the sirens approaching. “Amber, this is probably going to take a while, but I’d really like to finish this conversation after the cops leave.”

“I’d like that too. But weren’t you trying to get rid of me earlier?” she teased.

“Me? Nah! That was my evil twin, James.”

“Oh, Ok. And that pathetic, drunk that was sobbing over some loser boyfriend, that wasn’t me either.”

“No, that couldn’t have been you, because who in their right mind would break up with you?” To himself he thought, “Thank you Chet for calling in sick.”

Amber stared at Jake, noticing his bright blue eyes and dark hair, and then the front bell tinkled to announce the arrival of the police. Her last thought before the police started in with all of their questions was “Greg who?”






Word count: 2971