Dear Shirley,

I recently lost my stepfather to suicide and have since devoted every spare moment to speaking about the unbelievable depths of agony that losing a loved one in such a way brings about. My mother is an amazing woman - talented, accepting, loving - and yet it seems to her that everything she once had in her favor only makes this tragedy all the more devastating.

People ask how, even at 28, I've been able to stick with it, to stand by her through all the pain and countless other heartbreaking instances when the fallout strikes, out of nowhere, once again.

We will never have answers, only faith and hope (though sometimes fleeting) keep us moving. But we have our memories, and as the pain subsides we're even able to chuckle from time to time at his quirks. I hope someday to finish his research, to learn his beautiful music, to continue his legacy as a composer, a musician, a songwriter, and toward the end, a filmmaker. I cling to these as a way to keep him close.

And I will never stand by - no matter what the motivation - so long as suicide remains a stigmatized decision, rather than the cultural reflection that it truly is.

I am truly thankful for Brooke's amazing work here, thankful for those of you that have shared their personal stories in bringing the countless terrible facets of taking one's own life to light, and I'm thankful that we have a place like writing.com to host this discussion.

My life's work is now one of awareness. As I've told many regarding the assistance I've given my mother due to our own tenure in hell, "I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't do the same."

Thank you for sharing you story. I wish you the best and all the strength in the world, as I know firsthand that you deserve it.

Sincerely,
Drew

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Rising Stars' M2M Reviewer of the Month, July 2010
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