"All rise," croaked the bullfrog in the bailiff's uniform, " The enchanted court of the honorable Than Undermountain is now in session." And all around the small stone cavern various creatures sat up as a wizened old dwarf shuffled over to a large toadstool that served as his ruling bench. As he sat down both a giant spider decked out in a freshly woven silk bow-tie began to speak from the Plaintiff's stump.

"Your honor, this is an outrage, simply an outrage these goblins have stolen my silk and refused to pay me for it and then threatened me with violence... I demand justice!" He finished pointing at a group of three gnomes who sat smugly behind the defendant's boulder which was really a well worn stalagmite. The oldest of the gnomes was impeccably dressed in an expensive suite and had a large and luxurious beard., while his two younger compatriots were dressed in matching dark track-suites and had slicked back their beards. In response the spiders accusation the older gnome merely shrugged and tapped one of his brethren on the shoulder who immediately jumped to his feet.

"Ay-Oh, Youse Honor," said the young gnome who had been tapped. " The Gnome-Father didn't agree to comes to this sit-down here beef to get talked to like that by Legs over there."

The other gnome in the track suit jumped up as well, "And we ain't no stinking Goblins, we're just hard working gnomes," he said before glaring at the spider and shaking a fist, " You hear me crumb? One more crack like that and I'll be cleaning out my tobacco pipe with those spindly legs of yours... Capisce?" He finished as the crowd of fairy folk gasped and the spider shuddered.

"Gentlemen, I will have order in my court, Is that understood," Than wheezed menacingly as the old Dwarf pulled out an enormously large hammer and banged it on a nearby stalactite. "Now then anymore shenanigans and I'll immediately find in the opposing parties behalf, Understood?"

"Yes," replied the Spider.

"Gnome-Father?" said the Judge.

The Gnome-Father motioned his crew to sit and then replied,"Yes, your Honor. I'm nothing if not a gnome who respects the law," he mumbled softly.

The judge nodded and motioned to the spider."Excellent,then explain why we're here today Spider and please keep to the facts."

"Your honor, it's like this these gob... er gnomes," gulped the spider before continuing, " hired me to spin two-hundred feet of the strongest rope in all the land and promised to pay me a moonstone for each foot and instead absconded with it for nothing."

"That's a serious accusation. Do you have any proof?" said the judge.

"Here's the bill of sale," replied the spider handing him a bill.

"How do you respond to this?" asked the judge to the gnomes.

"It's like this Youse Honor, we did ask Legs there for some rope but he tried to get wise with us and pull a fast one. Instead of giving us the two-hundred feet of rope he promised he tried to get some shoe faeries to spin us a bunch of straw rope instead. Imagine us hard working gnomes trying to use straw rope. Lucky for us, my cousin Rumpelstiltski, he found out and ratted out this no good mook . Now we'ze gnomes are quite folk and wasn't gonna make no big stink about it as long as he coughs up the rope he promised. I mean all we did was 'ask nicely' about it and then Legs here tries to get us pinched with you Dwarves."

"Do you have any proof?"

"Yah, Rumpies will back up what i say." replied one of the younger gnomes as the Gnome-Father sat respectfully silent.

"Your Honor that's preposterous!" cried out the Spider. "Everyone knows Rumpelstiltskin connected to the Gnome gang and everyone's seen the headlines where unknown criminals used a silk rope exactly like the one they stole from me to sneak into Rapunzel's tower and shave off her golden hair. Considering what he can do with straw imagine what Rumpelstiltskin could spin that into."

"That's slander your Honor. Knowing how this mook operates he probably pinched that girls hair himself," replied the gnome.

"Yes, we must stick to the facts of this case and not speculate..." retorted the Judge. "Do you have any witnesses or other evidence?"

Sullenly, the Spider replied, "No your honor."

"Then case dismissed," thundered the judge and as he rose to leave his robe shifted ever so slightly and the light from the cavern torches glinted off a pair of new golden shoes"