“Over here darling, we need to check in.” Steve said as he swam down to the ocean floor, powerful kicks of his legs propelling him towards a small clown fish. The fish was swimming back and forwards in agitation, muttering to himself.

“...and I still have to get a new cleaner now that Sarah's hurt her fin, and...”

“Sorry to disturb you,” Steve said, approaching, “we have a reservation under the name of Shell.”

“Yes, yes, I've been waiting for you," he said, barely looking to seem him, "you're down there on the left,” he turned gesticulating with his head at an alcove in the rocks.

“Thank you so much,” Steve began, before being cut off.

“No problem, now I'm very busy, I have to get on.”

Lisa, swimming up to Steve as they moved towards their spot, shrugged her shoulders as they exchanged a glance. Turning back, they saw the clown fish talking to himself again.

“Never mind, I'm sure the room will be fine.” Steve said, “ah yes, this looks like us.”

“Oh.” They looked around, “is this it?” The alcove was barely a half a foot deep, with sharp edges where the rock was jagged. Where there had been anemones and coral by the clown fish, nothing here lived, not least because of the trail of black rising steadily to the surface from a crack in a pipe which snaked along the sea-bed.

“This won't do, will it?” Lisa declared, “Steve, seriously, this is supposed to be a holiday, relaxation, you know...”

Her words trailed off as she gestured to the scene all around them.

“You're right, come on, let's go talk to the manager.”

They turned and swam back towards the clown fish, still swimming back and forth, still reeling off his problems to himself.

“Ahem, we'd like to make a complaint, and hopefully change rooms.”

The clown fish turned, almost surprised to be seeing them again. Steve continued, describing each of the problems in turn, and how it would be impossible for them to stay there. The expression on the clown fish's face moved from agitation to annoyance and almost anger as he listened. Finally he declared, with almost ridicule in his voice.

“Well what do you expect me to do? I'm just a clown fish, for pity's sake!”


“Is that supposed to be funny?”