Au contraire (sp?) The plotting was the most masterful part. The hook drew me in straight away, because it wasn't front-loaded with setting like your chapters usually are, that I have read. The long tease (Vincent awaiting his professional fate) with all the build-up, was compelling, and the climax satsifying. Yes, it needs a few nips and tucks from the editing department; but if I were a judge, I would give you far more credit for the pull of the story than the spanking for the typos.

And I'd rate it higher than my effort on the flow and structure of the story. That's the most important thing. We are entertainers.

I more than half-expected the outcome (though I didn't know how it was going to happen, once you had set up the trap for Vincent beforehand). Surely, in the chaos of a disaster on the scale of 9/11, anybody who tried to save anybody else was a hero.

I am wondering now if laser gazes are a cliche, or is it just two great minds (yours and mine) thinking alike?