A few of you know, but many do not - I lost my mom to lung cancer in February of 2014. She was an author of over 50 books and always my inspiration. This is the first time since she passed that I am truly excited about writing fiction again. I won NaNo in 2014 and 2015, but it was a half-hearted attempt at best. And, I did not even think of any correlation until just the past few weeks. I write for our local paper, and have been freelance writing for a few years. I was completely happy doing that. It was almost like I didn't even miss fiction writing. (Horror!!!) And then, recently I realized - that was okay. It was okay that I needed a break, that my muse needed to catch up with my life and the fact that my mom was gone.
Weird. I thought I had dealt with that and moved on already - but I guess that wasn't exactly true. But now I'm ready to tackle NaNo with everything that I have, with my heart and soul. And it's fun again. The idea of writing like a crazed mouse in a cheese maze is fun again! I can't wait to get going - and in a genre in which I do not normally write.
I am posting this, not for myself, but for anyone else who is wondering if NaNo is right for them this year. It might not be right for you this year, but if you've committed, you truly owe it to yourself to try. For those who are missing someone who has moved on to, whatever is next in your mind, it's okay. NaNo will be here when your heart comes back. But please, please give it a shot. It can help you heal and help make things right again.
I didn't realize why my heart was not into it, but I could feel something different. But now that my entire being is ready for fiction writing again, I know what the problem was. My life will never be the same without my mom - it's never the same after you lose anyone, really - but, although my life is different, it can still be good. It can still be fun to write fiction and to meet new people (my characters) during that process. For me, I think NaNo was part of that healing. If whoever is reading this is going through some of the same issues, I hope NaNo helps you to heal this year, too, and that it makes you keep going, no matter how tough it gets. NaNo is so much more than 50,000 words.
Good luck to all!
Beck