In the twist to top all twists, my entire fantasy setting turns out to be a Netflix adaptation of my first novel. The actors have just finished filming season one. Renowned Welsh interior designer and decorator Anna Glypta has turned up to give the castle a makeover ahead of Ant and Dec arriving for another season of 'I'm a D list celebrity please notice me and revive my career'. Anna suffers a fall in ratings and has to be nursed back to health by television's favorite medical person Dr Who, assisted by his newest companion, a nurse played by Whatta Coincidence, who was playing Boudica in the original plot. The audience, exhausted by this nonsense, turns over to watch some paint drying.