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Oct 8, 2023 at 10:04pm
#3592209
I read it but I felt like the descriptors following the dialogue didn't help move the plot along. They kind of were distracting and confusing. That might just be me though. Also I don't know much about the main character. Why does she want a bus ticket? Does she want to get away from her family? Is it to chase a dream? Her motivations for her actions weren't clear to me. Hope this is constructive. If it's not then I apologize. |
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by Shadow Prowler-Spreading Love



by Olivia's catching up

