Hello Jeff  ,
My Thoughts:
*Giggles* I have a 2 year old son, and I can see this in my future. Right now he's still doing his own thing, but he's nearing the age where such games will be played and this gave a funny, yet slightly terrifying, view of what I have to look forward to.
My Favorite Part:
The End. "Vengeance will be mine!!!" That was a perfect end to the story, humor and revenge all bound up into one neat little package. I've seen a number of divorces where parents use their children to get back at each other, but usually it is in a very cruel and vindictive way. I like how you were able to bring that into this story, but in a kinder more light hearted way. Great job!
My Suggestions:
The line 'Thomas was something of a disappearing act' sounds a little off to me. Maybe change it to Thomas was something of a magician, he could vanish at will, might work better.
Because of my own son, this story hit on my personal background and I enjoyed it all the more for that. Thank you for sharing your wonderful work with all of us!
Thank you,
~Noyoki
Write On!!
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 You responded to this review 02/15/2013 @ 12:57pm EST |
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Review #3825257
