Hello Jeff  ,
My Thoughts:
I've decided that I'm quite fond of your sense of humor. In the stories I've read so far, there's always some delightful twist at the end that makes everything fall perfectly into place.
My Favorite Part:
The favorite part for me was how this story was a living, breathing example of 'you have to go through hell before you get to heaven.' The little bits of bad luck were all bread crumbs leading to one of the defining moments of this man's life.
My Suggestions:
One small edit: Ever since I had picked up that damned penny, I've had nothing but bad luck. I think you should remove the first had.
This one is a keeper; in fact, the way you wrote it was vivid enough that I could easily see this as the start of a romantic comedy.
Thank you,
~Noyoki
Write On!!
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 You responded to this review 02/15/2013 @ 1:02pm EST |
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Review #3825388
