Hello Jeff  ,
My Thoughts:
I like the conflicting emotion in this story. He wants Jack to be happy, yet he's also upset that after all the time spent wishing for himself and getting nothing, one wish for Jack gets his friend everything. It shows how people really are, and gives your character an authenticity that others lack.
My Favorite Part:
My favorite part is his belief. The wish probably had nothing to do with Jack's turn in luck, but he believes it completely. It is similar to a football fan's belief in their team winning because he wore the 'lucky sweater' the one he hasn't washed since the last major win.
My Suggestions:
One thing I would think about changing are what he wishes for. They're very stereotypical things, and I think it would add spice if instead of a sports car he wanted a helicopter or something of that nature.
Thank you,
~Noyoki
Write On!!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
 You responded to this review 02/15/2013 @ 3:00pm EST |
|
|
Review #3825483
