Hi Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 ,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones"  [13+].

Overall Impression:

This is an interesting poem, dear author. You say that you are not much of a poet, but I think that you have created something lovely here. Perhaps we are all our own worst critics?

I love the serenity you invoke through your use of imagery. You use a gentle touch, within the constraints of your chosen form. I also like the comparison within the birds and us. I especially love the image of conjuring rainbows.

On the technical side of things, your poem reads well. It has a pleasant rhythm and flow. Its presentation is easy on the eye. And I like that you added an explanation of the form. That is very helpful. Good job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions about the poem's content. I like it just the way it is. The only thing I'd suggest is allowing the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. You do this on the final line. I'd do it in the first couple of lines as well, to perfect the overall clarity and reading experience.

A suggestion not related to the poem - I'd be tempted to place the explanation to this poem underneath the piece. That way the poem is the immediate focus.

My Rating:

A lovely poem. I hope you are learning that you are a poet after all!

I did have a couple of suggestions, but those are more of a matter of personal preference. So, I will still give this item a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .