My name is Joy, and I love to write.
Why poetry, here? Because poetry uplifts its writer, and if she is lucky enough, her readers, too. Around us, so many objects abound to write about. Once a poet starts with a smallest, most trivial object, he shall discover that his pen will spill out what is most delicate or most majestic hidden inside him. Since the classics sometimes dealt with lofty subjects with a lofty language, a person with poetry in his soul may incline to emulate that. That is understandable. Poetry does that to a person: it enlarges the soul and gives it wings. Yet, to really soar, a poet needs to take off from the ground.
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Given: Apr 25, 2017 at 2:28am
Length: 2,061 Characters |
1,711 w/o WritingML
Hello Joy,
It's been pleasure to review your story on behalf of the “The Earth day Challenge”. I am not a writing expert and this review is my opinion only.
You have written a very good piece of story; I liked the way you told the story with very clear descriptions and presentation. It is easy to read. I like this monologue based story. The story starts very beautifully with a thoughtful quote “The older you get, the more you give in to gravity.” You have original thoughts in your story.
The story:
The story is about an old man who lost his wife Marian many years ago. The old man used to visit the nearby park every day. One day he found a little puppy in the park. He named it Max after his dead friend.
Characters:
All the characters are well developed. I like these characters. You crafted them beautifully.
Dialogue : Dioulouge floated beautifully between the characters.
Favourite part: “ There are so many colors in nature. I look around now from this bench and I see them, but there are colors our eyes cannot see nor our minds can fathom. Does forgiveness have a color, Marian? I believe it does. I believe the color of forgiveness cannot be found in any flower, tree, or bird. But it can paint the hearts of old men. Not any impossibility exists from uniting the three of us in a higher realm. That’s what I believe Marian. That’s why I’ll always wear your ring. “
Suggestions:
I think you can make a bigger story from this piece. That would be very interesting.
This is an amazing thoughtful story and the ending was brilliant. I enjoyed it reading.
Mina
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You responded to this review 04/25/2017 @ 9:05am EDT
Review #4319514
You responded to this review 04/25/2017 @ 9:05am EDT