I think this "As the ball of light shove itself slowly down" needs to have either balls, or shoves.
"Nothing much than that of the rodents." needs another word to make sense.
Those are the two main places where the wording tripped me up while I was reading. there were a couple more awkward places but I could get past them.
I loved the message of the poem. It showed your deep faith. It is an excellent contemplation of the worth of our salvation and the way most people don't live up to the promise made by Christ on the cross.