The active imagery in your first lines drew me to read on. I could really see the poet and the personification of the pen is cool. I thought the idea of "dance" and "prance" was delightful and fun. The simple title fits the poem as your next verses explain what words can do in a positive and negative way and how important it is to pick the right ones in communication.

The lines flow well with a consistent rhyme scheme but some lines are longer than others. The only ones that pulled me out of the flow were in Verse 2 line 4 and verse 3 line 2. I think In verse too you can drop the cumbersome "but sometimes" and just say "Or make them feel..." for smoother read.

In verse 3 "Some may see it worthy but for others may find it tactless" The word "for" is not needed. I wondered about making the statement direct instead of using "may". As is "Some see it worthy and others find it tactless." It tightens up the line too. I do see that the use of the "may and might" tense is consistent in the verse though. Still that line could be shortened. Maybe a comma after "worthy" to replace "but for".

In line 1 verse 3 "can not" should be "cannot".

Ending in a query is evocative and appeals to the reader to form an opinion. It is a good question and I would say it so depends on the situation. Standing up for self care is important but trying to control and not mind our own business is another consideration.

Thanks for sharing this thought provoking poem that has a vibe of the wise!




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You responded to this review 05/29/2022 @ 11:07am EDT

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