Hi
Amethyst Angel 🍁🙏
I am reviewing this for I Write 2024.
You have a very nice style of writing creating distinct and relatable characters. The situation of stage fright was depicted very well and you could visualize the main character going through it in the story. Sentences like "her knees shook and her hands started to sweat" really provide readers a great description and allow them to feel the emotions with the character. It seems to fit the Show not Tell activity that this was written for very well. You do a good job of setting up the situation with high stakes with a Disney Talent Scout present in the audience.
I also like the resolution that her friend was able help the lead to overcome her stage fright by getting Lisa to relate with the character she was playing. Alice comes across as a very good friend and it was nice seeing her help support Lisa and get through the performance. There is a little bit of a parallel between the actors in the play and the characters they are portraying as Elsa and Anna also wind up needing to support each other in the Frozen.
It is a fun way to end the experience revealing that Lisa still is shown to still be affected by anxiety giving it a slight comedic beat.
There is one line in the story that I needed to re-read to clear up in my mind what was occurring:
"He startled me," Lisa whispered, helping her out. - You may just want to give a couple of extra words to clarify that she was joining the teacher in picking up the scattered items. My initial thought was that Lisa was getting help for her stage fright.
Other than that it was a very good read. Thank you for writing it.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .