About This Author
I am SoCalScribe. This is my InkSpot.
Review #4732084
Viewing a review of:
 End Of The Line Open in new Window. [E]
A train ride with an unexpected destination.
by Jeff Author Icon
Review of End Of The Line  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Animated WDC Angel Signature for Premium Members
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
# by Not Available.


Hallo!
Here I am again! *Smile*

The title, brief description and genres work. Maybe add a cover pic. The layout is easy to read.

The beginning caught my attention, especially the smarmy smile. Immediately one knew the character was up to something.

You held the suspense well. I wanted to know what was coming and wondered if it might have a comic twist, but it didn't - it was sinister.

Just a quibble - at the actual moment of the incident, I had to read twice to understand what had happened! Is it just me, or would you like to re-work that sentence, maybe to two shorter sentences to pack more punch?

Write On!
- Sonali


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/17/2024 @ 7:57pm EST
... powered by: Writing.Com
Online Writing Portfolio * Creative Writing Online