Hi PENsive is Meemaw x 3! 
I am reviewing your short story, "Angel on the Cape"  , in affiliation with "Invalid Item" .
Please remember, these are purely my own opinions, and any advice given is one so with the sole intention of being helpful.
What I liked: Oh, you have me really confused. The whole way through, I thought I was reading about an account of something that really happened to you. Then, at the end, when you discovered there really was no one called Norma working at the helpline, it appeared to be a fictional story. Or is it? I just don't know. I mean, surely, you can't have really spoken with an angel? No. It's fictional. I think. Aargghh! This is where you have my mind at the moment. 
I love the story. The sentiment behind it, that there are angels out there. Not necessarily in true angelic form, often in human form. And if we ask for help, often, there are people who will listen and try to help. That's a really comforting message, and it made me feel warm and happy while I read it. I think we all need to be reminded, sometimes, that there are people who want to help.
I really like the ending. The contents of the bag hung on the door for Donna to find are so nice. The Victorian angel was a lovely touch. You see? That's one of the details that made this story seem real. It's a wonderful ending, though. To have had Mary and Michele thank Donna for being their angel. It makes me think we can all be angels for someone. And that's something that sounds good to me. It's just occurred to me, while writing this review, that Norma was probably Donna's mother in angel form. That's why the woman on trephine had the same name as her. I can't believe I didn't notice that until now.
Suggestions: My suggestions are all grammar/typo related. I've put them in a dropbox for you.
Grammar/Typo Suggestions ▼
 "We sat down and shortly afterward, two women sat at our table." - There should be a comma after "down."
"Somehow, I knew that it wouldn’t bother me to retell it [i]this time." - The [I] is a typo.
"... but was not near I thought it should be." I would say you need to add the word "where" in between "near" and "I."
Parting Comments: This is a lovely, little story. The message can bring warmth to your readers' hearts. It reminds us that we aren't alone, even when we feel like we are, and the is something I think we all need to be reminded of from time to time. Thank you.
Happy anniversary!
Choconut
 My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
 You responded to this review 03/16/2024 @ 7:36pm EDT |
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Review #4737195
