Hello Amethyst Snow Angel,
my name is FrosTIGGY the Snowman and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.
 First Impression:
That was quite a different ‘princess and dragon’ story. It became apparent quite early on that the musical sister would be the one to save the day; the only question was how she was going to do it. I liked the dynamic between the two sisters. Robyn was the fighter and Nora was the artist, and they acted and dealt with the situation in their own ways. Their different characters came across in the dialogue as well, with Nora speaking more softly and Robyn more forcefully. Xavier, the only brave knight to step forward, doesn’t play much of a part.
I liked that Nora, who insisted all along that the dragon might not have to be killed, was right in the end. Having said that, I’m not sure what actually happened to the dragon. It seemed a rather cruel fate for it to spend the rest of its life no bigger than a dog and no more dangerous. If given the choice, I’m not sure if it wouldn’t have preferred the alternative!
 Suggestions:
The story was very polished and I only spotted a couple of small errors:
"Can no one step up to fight this dragon?" He asked.
As the sentence continued with the dialogue tag after the speech, it should be “he”, lower case. Same again here, "This is ridiculous!" She declared.
And I’m not sure if I missed something, but this sentence didn’t seem right:
"Your innocent heart and profound faith accomplished what two dozen swordsmen and archers could not,"
When did the two dozen swordsmen and archers fight the dragon? Wasn’t it just the two sisters and the knight who went to kill it?
 Final Thoughts:
I found it quite refreshing that the women got to shine in this story and did a job that is traditionally reserved for men, slaying the dragon and saving the damsel. Well, in this case, they saved themselves, and it made for an interesting tale.
   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
 You responded to this review 03/31/2024 @ 7:58pm EDT |
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Review #4740585
