Hi Leger~
This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Invalid Item" !
Disclaimer
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
What I liked:
There is so much to love about this story, from the excitement of the rocket hurtling into space, to the moving scenes of a couple and their son when the worst thing imaginable happens to them. I loved everything about this story. Additionally, I think this is the first story about space travel I've ever read. It's not in my usual genre choice. However, now I'm wondering why not.
This story kind of reminded me of the David Bowie song 'Space Oddity.' Tara was lost in her own capsule, floating miles above the Earth. I kept thinking of Major Tom as I read this. I thought you did a great job of making me feel anxious. From the beginning, I was apprehensive about whether Tara would make it home or not. That didn't stop me from hoping she could be all right. Even after her boss delivered the bad news, I wanted some miracle to happen. She took the news very well, I thought. She didn't seem scared at all. She just seemed sad that she would never see her husband and son again. I would have been terrified. Your little detail of Tara taking the tablet to sedate her once she was in the capsule was good.
The part where Tara's team get her ready for the jettison is really well written. The final salute is moving. I also loved the detail of the fat tear on her boss's cheek. I loved how Tara's throat was tight as she was leaving home. You really amped up the emotion in this story. It was easy to feel sad for Tara and her family. It is really beautiful writing.
Suggestions: This is a question, and maybe I misunderstood. I thought there were other people in the rocket with Tara. If that is the case, were they given escape capsules, also? Because I wouldn't have thought the rocket could carry a lot of them. I also wonder whether the boss would really say they didn't have enough money for a rescue mission. It wouldn't have given Tara anything, except for the knowledge that she didn't matter enough. She didn't need to know that. I have a minor grammatical point. "Then they chose to pretend it won't happen." Because this is a future tense statement, I would say it should be "wouldn't" not "won't."
Parting comments: This story is so well written. I enjoyed it a lot. You drew me in with your wonderful portraits of the characters, and you left me feeling so sad about what happened to Tara. At the same time, you left me happy that discovered and read your story. Thank you.
Choconut
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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