About This Author
My name is Joy, and I love to write. Why poetry, here? Because poetry uplifts its writer, and if she is lucky enough, her readers, too. Around us, so many objects abound to write about. Once a poet starts with a smallest, most trivial object, he shall discover that his pen will spill out what is most delicate or most majestic hidden inside him. Since the classics sometimes dealt with lofty subjects with a lofty language, a person with poetry in his soul may incline to emulate that. That is understandable. Poetry does that to a person: it enlarges the soul and gives it wings. Yet, to really soar, a poet needs to take off from the ground. Kiya's gift. I love it!
Review #4743062
Viewing a review of:
Dead End Open in new Window. [ASR]
The investigator for defense has amorous hopes concerning the pretty defendant.
by Joy Author Icon
Review of Dead End  Open in new Window.
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Joy Author Icon

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked:

*Bulletr* This mystery of what happened to Marge's grandfather is entertaining. It hooked me at the start, and it kept me drawn in so I could find out the truth about what happened. I have to confess, there was a horrible moment where I thought maybe her grandfather would end up in Marge's art exhibit. I was glad he didn't. Although, his fate still wasn't happy. I wondered, in the end, if Marge and Daryl told the truth about killing the old man out of love. It seemed very convenient.

*BulletR* I loved the way the investigator has a major crush of Marge, the accused. I'm sure this wasn't entirely professional of him. I suspect she probably wouldn't have been interested in him, though. I think he would probably have been too old for her. This line from the investigator brilliantly showcases his infatuation: "I took this case because of Marge's dreamy blue eyes and the sunlight flickering on her curls." This is while he is questioning her! All he can think about is how much he loves her.

*BulletR* I love this description that the investigator gives when he discovers that Marge had a hand in her grandfather's death: "My heart has lost its music like a violin out of tune." It's so melodramatic, so over-the-top, but also really likely that it's what this guy would have felt. That made me chuckle.


Suggestions: I got a little confused at the beginning. The story reads like an acocount from the investigator, and it starts by saying, "I look at Marge." So he is telling us what he observes, but then, things seem to switch to Marge's point of view. We see details of the policeman going to her office from her point of view. There is no reason she would have told the investigator those details. Unless I'm reading it wrong? That is possible.


Parting comments: I enjoyed reading your story. It has a great hook and a subtle twist at the end. I really liked this story.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


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