Hi Joy ,
This review is a part of "Invalid Item" .
Overall Impression:
What a beautiful story! It brought a tear to my eye.
Your story reached me at a time when I needed to read it. I confess, I am quite frightened of death. Of the process of dying itself, and of what comes after. I guess what I most fear is nothingness - the idea of my 'me' no longer existing. For some people that's a soothing thought, but not for me! And with having lost quite a few people over the past few years, I guess death has been on my mind.
The story of your Granduncle really touched me, then. What a wonderful man he was! What beautiful memories you have of him! And the message he gave you is so comforting. I love the thought that everyone is loved, no matter who they are, or where they are, or what they believe in. I have always felt that that is how it ought to be. It would be sad if people couldn't have a loving afterlife because they grew up in the wrong religion. We all of us deserve peace and love and care.
So, thank you for sharing this with us, Joy. It means a lot.
Suggestions:
I do have a couple of suggestions, dear Joy. I hope that you will find them helpful!
Paragraph 1:
At the end, He gave up...
I think that 'At' should be In.
Paragraph 4:
to his bedside several hours
I suggest adding the word 'for' here - for several hours.
My Rating:
This is a beautiful story that found me at the right time. Thank you for that.
I did have a couple of suggestions, but nothing major. For that reason, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.
Thank you for sharing your work.
Write on!
Kit
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
You last responded to this review 04/11/2024 @ 11:50am EDT |
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