Hello iKïyå§ama
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Positives
I enjoyed your take on the prompt. I thought you were able to weave the prompt words into the narrative flawlessly, to the point where if they hadn't been bolded I don't think I would have even noticed. I also really like the detail and characterization in this story. From the car ride at the very beginning, it was a vivid, realistic scene you portrayed with enough description to make the reader feel like they're really present in the scene with the characters.
Suggestions
The only thing that didn't work as well for me was the Halloween scene before Jack had his first "chat". The "ghostly version of Davy Jones" costume was a little hard to imagine, and was a bit lacking in the same level of detail and description that you gave the rest of the story. For me, this is where the story needed that additional detail, when describing what exactly Jack was so intimidated by.
Overall
Overall, I thought you did a great job with this Writer's Cramp entry, and made the most of a prompt which I usually find really difficult for me personally... disassociated random words that you have to figure out how to string together. Nice work, although that's not really a surprise coming from you.
Respectfully,
Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy"
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