Hi Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  ,
 This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Invalid Item"  !
Disclaimer
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
What I liked ...
 I like how you se up this story. You mention the precious cargo in the stroller, which piques our interest. When you revealed it was actually empty because her child had already passed away, oh, my heart! You really tugged at my heartstrings. I felt sad for this woman, but happy that she would be reunited with her child. I wondered what had happened to it.
I love how you show the woman's loved one in the book store. She can't catch his attention because he is too engrossed in the literature on offer. Not knowing how the story would end, I didn't pick up on your subtle clue, but when I realised what it was, I loved it. You bring everything together at the end with Willy and Jordan and their commentary on what happens when people pass away and how this woman didn't want to let go. I love these two (angels?). They kind of reminded me of Clarence in 'It's A Wonderful Life.'
My favourite thing about this story is the emotion. It has left me with a lump in my throat. My mum has been on my mind a lot lately because she passed away twelve years ago, in April. Plus, I am an only child. So this piece made me think about Mum, and wonder whether she will be waiting for me one day.
Suggestions: The only thing I wasn't entirely sure about was the main character's friend. Was she sitting alone because she was grieving? Or was she, too, dead? Are her loved ones in a separate room because they are dead and she is alive, or the other way around? I wasn't sure. If she is not dead, then how could she see the main character? (Maybe I'm overthinking this.)
Parting comments: This story pulls at the reader's heartstrings, but, ultimately, has a positive message that will provide comfort to anyone who is mourning loved ones. It is well written, and you have a narrative style that really appeals to me.
Most importantly, keep writing!
Choconut
   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
 You responded to this review 04/20/2024 @ 8:14pm EDT |
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Review #4746523
