Hi Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  ,
 This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Invalid Item"  !
Disclaimer
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
What I liked ...
 I know it's not Halloween, not even October, but I was drawn to the title of this story. That "gruesome gargoyle" made me smile. As I first read this flash fiction, I found myself really liking the old gargoyle. He (or she, I'm not sure) only gets to haunt and wreak havoc in the library for the month of October, so every year he packs as much naughtiness in as possible.
I did feel for the old librarian, I must admit. She ends up fainting after the gargoyle pushes some books in front of her in the aisle. And she is so disturbed, the emergency medics have to come out to her. I love how much the gargoyle feels happy about this. This sentence fragment — the one with all the fs — is so pleasing on the tongue: "the folly of the frail, fossil’s first freefall in fifty-five fortnights." The descriptions the gargoyle gives of the old librarian falling are funny, as well. He describes her falling backwards, legs in the air with her, "unmentionables all up close and personal." That made me laugh.
The gargoyle describes this: "I wander the aisles of the dust-covered books and breathe in their essence." and I can relate to it big time. I'm sure most of the people on this website can relate to it, too. I love the smell of books, and I get how the essence of them is what keeps the gargoyle alive. So to speak. Also, the fave beans and Chianti made me chuckle.
Suggestions: I have a few grammatical suggestions. I've put them in a dropnote so you may read them as you wish. Or not.
Grammatical Suggestions ▼
"turn of the century period, style architecture." - It should be a hyphen between "period" and "style," not a comma.
"If, perchance a book should fall off a shelf and startle a patron I am amused." - I would put another comma the other side of "perchance."
" (Oh, hell who's kidding who, the dame is a fossil!)" - I would change it to, " (Oh, hell. Who's kidding who? The old dame is a fossil.)"
"Oh No, wait" - It should be a small n.
Parting comments: This is a fun story, good at Halloween, or any other time of the year. Mostly, good if you want a giggle.
Choconut
   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
 You responded to this review 04/20/2024 @ 9:18pm EDT |
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Review #4746565
