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Given: Jun 1, 2024 at 2:01pm
Length: 1,346 Characters |
1,262 w/o WritingML
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!
I was browsing your port and found something that looked lighthearted enough for my fussbudget tastes. I love the collaborative aspect of it. I’ve often wondered if collaborating on a single static item is possible around here. One of my old friends had an idea about that, but it fell flat.
This is a charming story about a little girl and her first day at school. I loved the inclusion of her beloved teddy bear, and the twist about Ms Devine was slightly unexpected and interesting. The characters and storyline fell together well even as you took turns writing, and it was very nice to read.
I did find some typos scattered throughout, but they didn’t distract from the narrative. As an item in a larger project of which I’m unaware, I think this was a great way to experiment with having two people work together on a story. The words and phrases used are bright and creative; I chuckled at the playground nursery rhyme, and I thought “a long coat of looking at” was ingenious to describe a sizing up stare. I was afraid it would be sad, but overall it was happy, with the potential for greater depth to be explored in the future.
Review #4754805
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You responded to this review 06/02/2024 @ 11:07am EDT