Hi, Amethyst Angel šš  !
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"  . Thanks for entering!
It can be really hard to create a story with a limited word count. I quite enjoyed the characters, especially Rosalie. At times it can be hard to remember what being a 12 year old is like, but it doesn't take too long for memories to come back. You did a good job with her.
As you introduced her aunt into the story, you let your reader know that Rosalie also isn't capable of doing things on her own. With that you set the adventure forth of getting to the cure alongside her long lost aunt. And speaking of the aunt, now that's a character I truly enjoyed. Whatever the history, something we don't know much about, she seems to be full of life and adventure. The main thing Rosalie needs in her life, especially with such an overprotective father.
Like I said, the word counts limits our telling of a story and brings it down to simple important glimpses in characters lives. It can be hard getting everything down. Because of that, for me as a reader, in this story I felt the need to know more. More about the aunt. After all, she was gone for so long without a word or anything, yet here she is, out of the blue, and the day resumes as if no time had gone by.
Another thing that makes me question things is, she knew about the healing spring on her brother's land. Something he didn't know about even though he's lived there all his life. And while the ending is a happy one, the questions aren't answered.
Personally, I think this would be a really great story if expanded. Now that the contest is over, nothing is stopping you from doing that - other than time itself.  I see a lot of potential here and hope that you'll consider adding to it. I really do wish there was more to it.
Thank you for sharing this story with the rest of us!
~ Gaby 
 
 You responded to this review 06/05/2024 @ 12:37pm EDT |
|
|
Review #4755365
