Hi Purple Holiday Givings

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024" .


Positives

I really liked the use of onomatopoeia in this piece. It gave everything a sense of dynamism that really kept my attention as I read through everything. I also thought you did a great job with the amount of detail in the piece. There was just enough to create vivid imagery without dragging down the pacing or making it feel overly long. You also did a great job working the three prompt words into the story in a natural way.


Suggestions

With such a short word count, it can be difficult to tell a complete narrative story, and this one felt like it was lacking a bit of a defined beginning, middle, and end. It read as more of a vignette or anecdote than a narrative. That may well have been the intention, but I found it a bit difficult to tell whether I was reading an actual short story (as the item labels imply) or a nonfiction accounting of just a routine day.


Overall

Overall, I found this piece well-written and engaging. It was a clever way to address all of the words in the prompt and the fact that you were able to describe a morning routine in such detail with so few words is really impressive. Nice job!


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Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .