About This Author
I am a 40 year old married mother of two teenage boys. I live for writing, especially romance. Love the happily ever after scenerio. The best thing about writing for me is the ability to lose yourself in your work, and feel as if you've accomplished something great. At the end of the day, that's all that really matters.
Review #4757297
Viewing a review of:
 Pay it forward  [E]
A little boy outwits the adult
by Purple Wishing WDC Happy 24th
Review of Pay it forward  
Review by Jayne
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This is an "I Write in 2024 review!


Hello, Purple Wishing WDC Happy 24th! Thank you for supporting this great activity!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
This is both heartwarming and charming. It does a lovely job of showing the spirit of "pay it forward" with an endearing child-driven interaction that is appropriately simple, honest, and believable.

*Checkb*Title and Description:
The title is fitting and sets the story's tone from the outset. The description is concise yet informative, providing just enough context to pique the reader's curiosity.

*Checkb*Hook and plot:
I'm making the assumption the words in bold are the day's required phrase for the contest. You've used them effectively to kick off a delightful little story. How much does it cost? immediately establishes a sense of curiosity and sets up the plot well. The story unfolds smoothly, with the boy's skepticism adding a layer of depth to the story and allowing for a clear narrative through the adult's explanation.

*Checkb*Characters and dialogue:
Within the short word count, the characters are well-developed and relatable. The little boy's innocence and curiosity are captured perfectly, while his skepticism and logical thinking provide a solid contrast to the adult's perspective. The dialogue feels natural and moves the story along at a steady pace.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
This is well-written and mostly error-free. I did find this minor typo:

She's grounded on account of helping Mommy wash the kitchen for with the garden hose. --> I believe for should be floor.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
The story is simple but powerful. The interaction between the boy and the adult is heartwarming, and the boy's skeptical logic adds a touch of humor that should endear any reader.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne *Smile*

My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim



   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/16/2024 @ 8:39pm EDT
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