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Review #4757804
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Mantoswawim  [18+]
You just never know who you will be sharing a jail-cell with...
by Smee
Review of Mantoswawim  
Review by Tiggy in Antigua
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

I did not see that coming. I had no idea what the title and the repeated word meant (which was actually the main reason I chose to read this story, it sounded intriguing), until the end. Of course, there was something wrong with the narrator’s cellmate, that was clear from the start. He was dressed differently, he never left the cell and apparently didn’t sleep and didn’t eat, and the prison guards didn’t make him. The readers knew what the narrator appeared to ignore: This guy wasn’t quite human. What exactly his deal was remained a secret though, and it was a very good twist.

The main character narrated the tale in a slightly detached way that heightened the tension. There were some nice details you dropped into his thoughts, like I'd faced this sort everyday of my life., which made the readers believe for a moment that he was a thug himself, before you clarified who he actually was and explained why he had been in contact with the kind of people he now met in prison.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very well written, and it’s not new so you’re probably not interested in edits anyway. I only noticed one small error - hardly worth mentioning but I’m here, so…

the black and white stripped PJ suit
I think that was meant to say, “striped”.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

Unfortunately the image link doesn’t work anymore - I would have been interested to see what inspired this tale. There is probably no way to recover it now, which is a shame.

I liked that you left just enough unsaid at the end to pique the readers’ interest. What exactly was this curse, why did it affect the victim’s speech, and how did it enable the cursed to take care of issues like killing a fellow prisoner (or a guard, if required) in a different cell? Again, the way the main character narrated his own end was very well done, with that detachment that now made perfect sense, completely matter-of-fact but in a way that sent a shiver down the reader’s spine. Great story!




** Image ID #2153781 Unavailable **


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