I'm JACE, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "High Hopes" .
I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.
Overall Impression. It's been awhile since I visited your Port and I needed to review a Purple case to satisfy a reviewing requirement. So here I am.
I had looked at a couple other items but decided I needed something a little lighter. As if reading about a hitman is lighter.
I watched the video that offered the prompt for your story. An interesting interpretation, I think. But that's what makes this site so interesting--the imagination that explodes from person to person and story to story.
The fine print stated no minimum word count though it stated 500-word story was needed. You came close and that works for me.
It hard to put a lot of depth into characters with so few words availabe, but you succeeded in my opinion. I found it interesting that a man of Hendon's experience would actually do a hit with a partner, especially one with limited experience. Perhaps he was training the younger man to take over.
That thought obvious went wrong with your ending.
The other thought I had was Hendon must have been paid upfront for the hit since he was leaving immediately. Yes, I realize the difficulty in writing such a story quickly and with so few words available. All in all not too bad.
Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.
Good job with your dialogue. No punctuation issues that I found.
My Rating. 4.5.
Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.
Review #4759532
Good job with your dialogue. No punctuation issues that I found.
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