Happy Account Anniversary Joy  ,
I found this poem compelling and appreciated the way it flowed and read to fully access the message readily and easily.
The narrator's voice does well to disconnect and act as one trying to escape the pain of this failed romance. What strikes me as how scene sets up with the stumbling and street and what seems a journey home. I can visualize what transpires and then eventually becomes the (perhaps) the actual poem written, demonstrated at the end.
The voice seems to speak to the reader to relate, commiserate and at the end slightly suggest writing as a way to purge feelings.
Your metaphors to connect images help sell the emotional aspect of the poem. I could find a deeper connection with these feelings one might possess should one go through a similar experience, as many can attest. I latched on to some of these expressive phrases, including "fence out that achy loneliness."
As a person who feels emotion intensely, in formative years, this image of fort hold seems easily penetrated and prone. To me is remarks how fragile at first, and maybe for awhile, until these feelings are absorbed by time, new ventures or further self-actualization to remedy the loss.
The poem started out setting scene and carrying this reader home to the end. I feel in a way it's a difficult journey and demonstratively desperate to regain, or normalize, after something that feels like losing face, having to regain oneself. Egos are extremely vulnerable and this felt honest as what could be confession in that respect. It shows when you are vulnerable, as in love, how accessible one is to pain from a breakup.
What I stumbled into in your portfolio was a folder of poems about writing and then found this. I saw it fit romance and poems about writing, with the ending stanza:
You retreat into your tiny space,
That person you knew now a blurred face,
Tears, names, and words like sorrow or sin
Pour from your pen, you cry within.
The 'sin' especially struck me as another bit that feels like revelation that we're all human and it can be some messy, regrettable stuff. I appreciated the forthrightness.
The ending echoes a direct narration to reader that unfolds like a poem written to conceal pain and remove oneself by going in this direction. It reveals that turns to writing to pour out from that pen and self-heal.
I think in this final reveal there is no true sense of this person, just actions and emotions readers can commonly relate with. What the poem accomplishes is like a bit of self-help, acknowledging it happens, we get hurt. It feels sage while not directly saying this is what you can do. It is a comforting offering. Though, the title and title line are very suggestive, as title acts as a cue in all caps like 'get out'! Save yourself. The title line is saying to me 'end of the line'. It's over. And in a way, know it and acknowledge it and get away to restore.
I appreciated how smooth this traditional rhyming poem read, while connecting the imagery to the emotive. It connected this reader who is prone to loneliness but also can be rigid and self-correct as proposed any individual might. Very effective and well-crafted write.
Again, happy anniversary,
Brian
WDC Anniversary and
Angel Army Reviewer
 
 My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!"  .
 You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore |
|
|
Review #4759642
