Greetings, Amethyst Angel šš! I am reviewing this because I am part of the Anniversary Review Team. 
And today is your 1st Anniversary here at Writing.com! I'm so glad you are a member here, as your presence is such a pleasure!
First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.
The Positives/What I Liked
Aw...what a cute little story! I am curious--have you plans to write a story about a pug and a unicorn? I read through a few other stories in the file where I discovered this one, and picked-up on that you have a vintage stuffed animal named
Fluffy, who is a pug. I'm wondering if you also have a unicorn.
My favorite line:
Together they looked through the card catalog and scanned the children's shelves. I've worked at school libraries and a public library, all of which had card catalogs.
They are, unfortunately, becoming a rarity. When I was the library director of the public library, we had to add all the library materials to an online catalog. What a lot of work!!! We still chose to keep the old card catalog, too, for those who weren't ready for such a big change.
Suggestions/Comments to Consider
Grammar, spelling, and punctuation all looked great! I do have one questionable area to bring up:
Paragraph 1:
Heavy rain filled the library with white noise as little Beth stepped through the door. Wouldn't rain be pink noise instead of white? I think of white noise as static...something coming from electronics, a fan...or something like that. Pink noise is more the natural sounds of nature, I believe.
Final Thoughts
Aw...you are such a sweet person! I love reading your items. Again, Happy WDC 1st Anniversary! I hope you have many more!
Have a great day and...
K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
 You responded to this review 07/11/2024 @ 4:02pm EDT |
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Review #4762289
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