TOUR DE PORTS 2024
Hello, Jeff!
INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:
Wow! You wrote a scathing blitz poem about social media.
Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.
MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:
I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting.
Ironically, I just finished a 28-day challenge for posting daily on twitter/ x.com and I really enjoyed it. The challenge group was a bunch of amazing people and we wrote uplifting posts and cheered each other on. If I had read your poem before doing this challenge, I'd have been nodding along in agreement as I read, but after this nice experience, I don't feel the same. However, I totally understand that this is the experience many people have on social media. I wish we could elevate the experience for everyone with a good heart. I know you're someone with a good heart.
I wondered if your poem placed in the Rebel Poetry Contest that you entered it in? I hoped so and then I remembered I could check for awardicons and sure enough, not only did you place in that contest, you won a Quill with this poem. Congratulations times two! Yay for you!
You did a great job writing this poem and the blitz form added to the power of it, I think. The short lines felt strong and forceful and just right for the message of your poem.
I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes (or mistakes of any kind) in your social media poem.
I thought the computers and dark genres you selected were perfect for this social media poem of yours.
IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:
In the spirit of helpfulness (and because of the rules of Tour de Ports review challenge I'm in require that, I have a suggestion to make your piece stronger. I'm having to dig deep for this as I really thought your piece was well done as it is though. And really, who am I to argue with a Quill winner? So if you want to skip this part, no worries at all! Just move on to the next section and know that I enjoyed reading your poem.
The only thing I can think of, and I'm not sure that it's needed? I just like how it looks ... It's to add a thumbnail picture, if your membership level allows that. It could gain you extra readers because pictures (and the extra color they tend to bring) are attention getting, so your social media poem might catch more potential readers' eyes on searches and portfolio scans.
This isn't about the writing, but I wonder if you could enter this in the Poetic Traditions contest? If you haven't already, that is. It is a form poem. I'd love to see it get another ribbon.
CONCLUSION:
You have a great writing style and I greatly enjoyed reading your powerful poem.
Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, spirit, and writing with the Writing.Com community!
May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler
This review is part of my journey to complete "Invalid Item" . Come ride with us!
Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group"
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .