Greetings, Amethyst Angel ππ! I am reviewing this because I am part of "I Write in 2024" and your entry is previous to my own.
First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.
The Positives/What I Liked
This is not only a good story, but an important one. I have no doubt there are many Beths out there in situations similar to this one. It's quite horrible to imagine. I remember when I was seventeen years old, so naive and lost feeling. I never fell into the trap Beth did, but I can see how many girls could.
I loved the line: The dining room was empty, its silence amplifying the hollowness of my thoughts.
Excellent dialogue and great visuals!
I also like how you've included the Human Trafficking Hotline at the end. You just never know what someone is truly going through.
Including the words to the song God Only Knows was a great idea, too. Beth was really struggling and listening to this song was important, helping her to stay strong.
Suggestions/Comments to Consider
Paragraph 1: french fries French fries I'm guilty of this typo myself, at times.
Other than that, everything looked great!
Final Thoughts
I always enjoy reading your stories, and this one did not disappoint. Nice work. And good luck in the contest! Great entry!
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group"
Have a great day and...
K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
You responded to this review 08/24/2024 @ 7:34am EDT |
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