A changeling spirit,
constantly evolving,
revolving around an inner core,
spinning forth legend and lore,
stories and lives
as I come to grips
with who and what I am,
have been and may be.
I am a phoenix:
rising ever above and beyond!
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Given: Aug 30, 2024 at 12:09pm
Length: 1,171 Characters |
1,060 w/o WritingML
Greetings,
I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge
I love how you've managed to work with the guidelines of this poem and create something with lasting meaning and significance. It feels solemn like a wedding vow. I struggled with trying to fit mine together while giving it some intelligent meaning and theme while keeping within the syllable counts... In fact I'm pretty sure I didn't do it correctly
As one who has yet to master the poetic style in question, then, I won't bother pointing out where I think you might have over-counted your syllables in the second line... Oh wait, the words that end in "ed" are one syllable That's why the poets of yore would add an accent over the é, to create an extra syllable. See? That's why I avoid form poetry at all costs
The theme of fidelity and strength under the trials of life is expressed well here. I think this would look nice written out in script on fancy paper as a gift to a loved one. I enjoyed reading it.
Review #4772283
That's why the poets of yore would add an accent over the é, to create an extra syllable. See? That's why I avoid form poetry at all costs 
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