A changeling spirit,
constantly evolving,
revolving around an inner core,
spinning forth legend and lore,
stories and lives
as I come to grips
with who and what I am,
have been and may be.
I am a phoenix:
rising ever above and beyond!
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Given: Sep 8, 2024 at 11:13am
Length: 1,661 Characters |
1,602 w/o WritingML
Hello fyn,
I had the pleasure visiting your portfolio this morning. One could spend literally days browsing and reading your work. Your port is a library unto itself. I chose “In the Beginning . . .” to read because it was recent and not previously reviewed. Here are thoughts I had. I hope you find them useful.
The concept for the story is timely. Many think AI is the beginning of the end. Presenting the computer as a familiar object swayed me to the side of the computer, if taking an opposite view of the phenomena. I can’t say enough positives about the masterful word choices particularly active verbs and personifying the inner computer functions. “A bit mated with a random byte in an algorithm” is one example of the masterful arrangement of words. You paint a picture showing all the way. You know how to do that. In showing and not telling the story, I had the chance to picture my own computer as the story unfolded. That made it personal and relevant.
A couple of suggestions include one space between one of the paragraphs did not come out double spaced. The other matter is to make use of selecting all three opportunities for genre types. More people may read as they seek items to read by their favorite genre. I would replace ‘other’ because it directs you to nothing specific, and then select a third.
I had no intention to stop in today. Somewhere in reading and reviewing your portfolio came up. I am thrilled it did because your writing is above all the rest. I will return as often as time permits to read more.
Write on!
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You responded to this review 09/08/2024 @ 4:31pm EDT